Luke 7:11-17 NIV
[11] Soon afterward, Jesus went to a town called Nain, and his disciples and a large crowd went along with him. [12] As he approached the town gate, a dead person was being carried out—the only son of his mother, and she was a widow. And a large crowd from the town was with her. [13] When the Lord saw her, his heart went out to her and he said, “Don’t cry.” [14] Then he went up and touched the bier they were carrying him on, and the bearers stood still. He said, “Young man, I say to you, get up!” [15] The dead man sat up and began to talk, and Jesus gave him back to his mother. [16] They were all filled with awe and praised God. “A great prophet has appeared among us,” they said. “God has come to help his people.” [17] This news about Jesus spread throughout Judea and the surrounding country.
There is no greater loss than losing a loved one.
I am not speaking about this from some form of high theological tower. I have been bereaved. I’ve lost close relatives, family acquaintances and friends. I’ve stood at the graveside of people who have lived a long, full life and those of people who have been cut down in their prime; those who perished because of age or ill health or those who were murdered or committed suicide.
Death is never a happy experience for those left behind.
Although we may not like talking about it, we must. As the famous playwright Oscar Wild wrote, ‘Death is the ultimate statistic. One out of one people die.’
As the Bible says:
Psalms 90:1-6 NIV
[1] Lord, you have been our dwelling place throughout all generations. [2] Before the mountains were born or you brought forth the whole world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God. [3] You turn people back to dust, saying, “Return to dust, you mortals.” [4] A thousand years in your sight are like a day that has just gone by, or like a watch in the night. [5] Yet you sweep people away in the sleep of death— they are like the new grass of the morning: [6] In the morning it springs up new, but by evening it is dry and withered.
There is no greater, more heart-rendingly painful suffering than losing a loved one.
The Bible does not shy away from that.
Instead, it gives us the means to cope.
There are three stages to the short record of this incredible miracle – three stages that will encourage us and help us to continue even when everything seems utterly lost.
But before that, we need to address one very important issue.
Resurrection from the dead was extremely rare, even in Bible times. As Jeffrey Kranz points out in the Overview Bible, in all of the some four thousand years covered by Biblical history, there are only ten recorded incidents of resurrection from the dead.
What’s more, when these incidents featured people who had recently died, their resurrections were never permanent. They rose to then die again.
Only Jesus died, was risen from the grave three days later and then taken up to heaven.
Why do I mention this?
To set expectations.
These verses do not promise – and should not be taken as a promise – that our recently deceased relatives will rise from the dead and come back to us on this earth. They will rise, but not to come back to us here.
So when we talk about these verses bringing encouragement to those who have been bereaved, it is not because they promise that God will miraculously intervene and reverse death right now. That is not what they mean.
So what do they mean?
Let’s look at the first phase of this healing: The Death of Hope.
The Death of Hope
Luke 7:12 NIV
[12] As he approached the town gate, a dead person was being carried out—the only son of his mother, and she was a widow. And a large crowd from the town was with her.
Here we see the crossing of two crowds: one coming into Nain with Jesus, and one coming out of Nain with the bereaved mother; one full of excitement and anticipation, the other full of sadness and despair.
And there, likely at the head of the despairing crowd, was the mother.
She had not just lost her only son. Luke tells us that she was a widow: she had previously lost her husband too.
In those days, that was a one-way path to poverty and destitution. She had no-one to care for her, no-one to provide for her.
There is another Bible character who experienced this same pain, only it was her husband and both of her sons who died:
Ruth 1:20-21 NIV
[20] “Don’t call me Naomi,” she told them. “Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. [21] I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The Lord has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me.”
You can see it, can’t you? The downbeat, despairing words, without one shred of hope.
That was where this woman was.
Although our situation is not always as desperate as hers, when we are bereaved, we often feel like a light has gone out in our lives, like joy has left the building.
Like hope has gone.
And we can’t see any way to get it back.
It’s almost as if we are standing with that grieving woman, with one hand on the beir.
But that is when the next phase might surprise you, because we also see The Death of Sorrow.
The Death of Sorrow
Luke 7:13 NIV
[13] When the Lord saw her, his heart went out to her and he said, “Don’t cry.”
Normally, if anyone walked up to a bereaved mother, walking close to her dead son being carried out to be buried, and told her not to cry, we would find that highly inappropriate, perhaps even offensive.
But not when it’s Jesus.
Let me explain why.
He saw her.
Just imagine the chaotic scene. On one side, on their way into Nain, was the crowd following Jesus. It would likely be filled with the buzz of excited, expectant chatter.
Jesus was the ‘new thing’ in town. They would be hoping to hear Him say something profound, or perhaps controversial, or maybe, just maybe, see Him perform some wondrous miracle.
You can imagine what it would have felt like to be in that crowd.
But the crowd coming in the opposite direction was entirely different.
I don’t know if you have ever seen a Middle Eastern funeral party on TV, but they are anything but quiet. While we would consider it respectful to stand in contemplative and respectful silence as a funeral cortege passes, in the Middle East there would be weeping, loud wailing, and people beating their breast as a sign of their grief and lament (examples of this are Isaiah 32:12-13, Ezekiel 21:12 and Luke 23:48).
The noise would have been incredible.
And yet, in the middle of this melee, Jesus sees one person. Just one person. One person at the root of it all:
A grieving mother.
A grieving mother whose wails and moans and tears were likely drowned out by the mourners around her.
A grieving mother with the weight of the world seemingly on her shoulders, likely pouring out her pain because of the loss of her husband, the loss of her son and the loss of any hope for a future.
Jesus saw her.
If you are grieving the loss of a loved one today and you have lost all hope of anything getting better, I want you to know this right now:
Jesus sees you.
But there was something else: He had compassion on her.
The Greek word is not just to feel sorry for someone in a shallow way, but to feel it deeply and passionately. We would say that his heart broke for her.
And that is actually quite wonderful.
She was a random woman. We don’t even know her name. For all his love of intricate detail, Luke didn’t record it. All we know is that she was in deep pain, Jesus saw it and had compassion on her.
How much more for one of His children, ransomed by the shedding of His blood on the cross?
So if today you bear a similar pain to this woman, I want you to see that Jesus not only sees you, but He has compassion on you.
But Jesus did more than seeing and having compassion on her. If that were all He did, it would still be beautiful. However, He encourages her.
He says something. It might not seem to make sense from our point of view. It might not be something we would say. But if you see it in the context of His compassion for her and what He is about to do (which she would not know about yet), then it makes sense:
He tells her not to cry.
Jesus’ eye and heart for those who suffer might not bring an end to their sorrow now.
However, He will bring an end to it later, and soon:
Revelation 21:3-5 NIV
[3] And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. [4] ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” [5] He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”
Yes, we feel pain now. Yes, life is hard. Yes, we weep. But we can take comfort from verses like these:
Psalms 126:5-6 NIV
[5] Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. [6] Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them.
Psalms 30:5 NIV
[5] For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.
Matthew 5:4 NIV
[4] Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Luke 6:21 NIV
[21] Blessed are you who hunger now, for you will be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh.
For the Christian, sorrow is a season, not a permanent state:
Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4 NIV
[1] There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
[4] a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
We know – we absolutely know for certain – that the time will come when Jesus will bring our weeping to an end, never to return, and we long for that day.
Apart from the death of hope and sorrow, we also see a quite outstanding miracle: The Death of Death.
The Death of Death
Luke 7:14-17 NIV
[14] Then he went up and touched the bier they were carrying him on, and the bearers stood still. He said, “Young man, I say to you, get up!” [15] The dead man sat up and began to talk, and Jesus gave him back to his mother. [16] They were all filled with awe and praised God. “A great prophet has appeared among us,” they said. “God has come to help his people.” [17] This news about Jesus spread throughout Judea and the surrounding country.
As I said before, even when Jesus Christ walked this earth, resurrection from the dead was very, very rare. This is a special moment. We should not expect it to happen for us. Not at the moment when we are bereaved.
But one day it will happen:
1 Corinthians 15:50-55 NIV
[50] I declare to you, brothers and sisters, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. [51] Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed— [52] in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. [53] For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality. [54] When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: “Death has been swallowed up in victory.” [55] “Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?”
Revelation 20:12-15 NIV
[12] And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Another book was opened, which is the book of life. The dead were judged according to what they had done as recorded in the books. [13] The sea gave up the dead that were in it, and death and Hades gave up the dead that were in them, and each person was judged according to what they had done. [14] Then death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. The lake of fire is the second death. [15] Anyone whose name was not found written in the book of life was thrown into the lake of fire.
Every follower of Jesus Christ must believe in the resurrection. As Paul stated:
1 Corinthians 15:19 NIV
[19] If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied.
It is faith in Christ's resurrection, and our own, that makes us strong and resilient, that fuels our belief in justice, that reminds us of the greatness of God. Christianity is utterly meaningless without it.
Although we will likely not live to see the day when the dead are raised, we will rise with them. If we have lost brothers or sisters in Christ, we will see them again. We may ache now. We may feel their absence. But one day we will be with them again.
That’s why we see these words:
1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 NIV
[13] Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. [14] For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. [15] According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. [16] For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. [17] After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. [18] Therefore encourage one another with these words.
We simply do not grieve like those who do not believe.
Why?
Because we have hope.
Because one day we will go to Heaven and be with Jesus, and our loved ones who followed Him, forever.
That is what makes the difference.
Conclusion
Several years ago, some old friends of mine lost their mother. I wanted to support them, so I took the day off work and went to the funeral. She had been a Christian, so the service was beautiful.
But it was disrupted by a common friend from our university days, who is an atheist. He had grown close to the family and howled like a banshee all through the service, clearly in deep distress. He had no hope. As far as he was concerned, she was gone and that was that. His sorrow was so much deeper than ours.
Different cultures approach death in different ways. When my dad was approaching death, he asked to be cremated and his ashes scattered in a memorial garden because he had seen how his family had reacted to my grandmother's death, and how my grandfather had gone to her graveside every day and tried to have a conversation with her, and decided he did not want them to do that with him. He just wanted them to let him go.
On the other hand, there is an ancient tribe in Malaysia who bring their corpses out on their birthdays, dress them up in their old clothes, seat them at the table and have a meal with them.
The old saying that only two things are certain: death and taxes has a ring of truth to it. We all die. That’s a fact. Solomon wrote this about death:
Ecclesiastes 7:2 NIV
[2] It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of everyone; the living should take this to heart.
But it isn’t something we like to think about. We like to deceive ourselves with the line from the musical ‘Fame’: ‘I’m gonna live forever’. Funerals bring us down to earth with a harsh bump and let us know that it just isn’t the case. That’s why some of us don’t want to go to them, if we can avoid it.
We see here with this bereaved woman how we can move from the death of hope – where everything seems bleak and we can’t see how anything could ever be better – to the death of sorrow and the death of death itself.
Friends, death is the ultimate weapon that this world can wield against us. But Jesus Christ has beaten it.
1 Corinthians 15:55 NIV
[55] “Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?”
Jesus Christ has risen from the grace. One day we will be with Him, and with our loved ones who have followed Him, forever.
We may well face grief in this life. That is inevitable.
But even in our grief, we have hope.
And right now, that is all we need.
Prayer
Lord Jesus, thank You for rising from the dead and breaking its hold on me. I confess that when I face the loss of a loved one I am prone to losing sight of the hope You bring. Help me to never forget what You have done for me. Amen.
Questions
Have you ever lost a loved one? Can you identify with this woman’s experience?
How do you think it would have felt like to be noticed by Jesus? What does this mean for you?
How would what we have learned in this meditation help you when you go through bereavement?
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