We love because he first loved us. Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And he has given us this command: anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.
1 John 4:19-21 NIVUK
I've only ever preached one sermon in Czech Republic. It was during missionary training. I had been preparing for a cultural presentation when I was gripped by one of the basic tenets of Orthodox Christianity: that we can earn our salvation through good works.
It apalled me. Absolutely apalled me. I remembered Paul's great refuting of Peter in Galatians:
I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!’
Galatians 2:21 NIVUK
And what he said in Ephesians:
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no-one can boast.
Ephesians 2:8-9 NIVUK
I regarded it as nothing less than blasphemous that anyone could honestly believe that Christ's sacrifice on the cross was somehow insufficient. It enraged me that someone could poison the minds of the very Romanians I had been called to reach with that terrible idea.
I was asked to prepare something for a worship event. So I did. And at that event, full to the brim of righteous anger, I diced and filletted the idea that we could be saved by anything but grace.
And it went down well. Very well.
Except for one person. A Romanian. An ex-Orthodox Romanian.
I asked her for her opinion. This is what she said: 'You were good. But you lacked love.'
And that challenged me deeply.
As a Romanian and a future team member, I valued her opinion. I was theologically on the nose. No problems there. But lacking love...?
As much as it pained me to admit it (and it pained me deeply), she was correct.
You see, I was brought up in the West of Scotland, where, if you'll pardon the rather crude similie, opinions were like butts: everyone had one, not many of them were attractive, and most were just good for making bad smells.
It was important to be right first and foremost. To have the right theology. To go to the right church. To attend the right school. To support the right football team. To even sing the right hymns and read the right translation of the Bible.
But no-one thought of the consequences of this distorted focus, or where it would lead us. Churches were split. Relationships broken. Sectarianism, hatred, division and senseless violence flourished. The 'Land of the Book' was more like the 'Land of the Bully'.
Since these evils happened in the name of the Lord, you can only imagine what this did to the reputation of the Gospel, and of Jesus Christ Himself.
So my Romanian friend was absolutely correct to challenge me on my lack of love. Because obedience and right theology are not enough.
A real Christian loves.
Do you need proof of that? Look at Jesus' dialogue with a religious leader:
One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, ‘Of all the commandments, which is the most important?’ ‘The most important one,’ answered Jesus, ‘is this: “Hear, O Israel: the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” The second is this: “Love your neighbour as yourself.” There is no commandment greater than these.’
Mark 12:28-31 NIVUK
Or to put it another way:
Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: ‘Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?’ Jesus replied: ‘ “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: “Love your neighbour as yourself.” All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.’
Matthew 22:34-40 NIVUK
Do you see this? Jesus is saying that the entire Old Testament depends on and is summed up by loving God and loving your fellow human being.
Just in case you believe that these commands are somehow no longer relevant for us, look at these words of Jesus:
‘Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfil them. For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. Therefore anyone who sets aside one of the least of these commands and teaches others accordingly will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practises and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven.
Matthew 5:17-20 NIVUK
So we are left with a rather jarring conclusion: true Christians are obligated to love God and their fellow human being, without exceptions or get-out clauses. Failure to do so is blatant disobedience. Fail to do so and you are not a follower of Christ, who loved us enough to die for us when we were still sinners (John 3:16).
When I was growing up, I would hear other 'Christians' say 'I need to love you, but I don't need to like you'.
What utter nonsense! Seriously!
We are called to love everyone, even the unlovely, even the unworthy, even those we don't have a natural inclination to love. Why?
We love because he first loved us. Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And he has given us this command: anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.
1 John 4:19-21 NIVUK
So we must love, no matter what, no matter who.
But when the Bible talks of love, what does it mean? What is the meaning of love?
There are four words used in Ancient Greek for 'love'.
There is 'storge' - parental love.
There is 'philia' - brotherely love - love between siblings.
There is 'eros' - sexual love.
There is 'agape' - unconditional, Divine love.
It won't surprise you that when Jesus talks about sacrificial love in John 3:16, He uses 'agape' - Divine love.
The same is true in 1 John 4.
The same is also true in Matthew 22.
So we are faced with the challenging reality: we are being commanded to love others like God loves us.
But what does that look like? Paul gives us an even more challenging clue:
If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:1-13 NIVUK
We often read this passage at weddings. It is beautiful, so I can understand why. But this passage does not talk about guidance for a newly-wed couple. Read the context: 1 Corinthians 12 and 1 Corinthians 14 are all about how we relate to one another within the Body of Christ - the church. This passage even begins with these words:
And God has placed in the church first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healing, of helping, of guidance, and of different kinds of tongues. Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues? Do all interpret? Now eagerly desire the greater gifts. And yet I will show you the most excellent way.
1 Corinthians 12:28-31 NIVUK
This passage is not about romance. Not at all. It's about how we relate to people who are not like us in church!
In fact, there is more. The love mentioned in this passage is not 'eros' - romantic, sexual love. No, it's 'agape' - unconditional, Divine love.
Paul'a definition of the love we should have for our brothers and sisters in church is not some sappy, romantic, hearts, flowers and Valentine's Day cards type of love. No, this a robust, strong, daring love, that hopes and trusts and believes even when others do not.
And, let me tell you, if we think we can get away with showing this love only to believers, we have a real problem. John 3:16 tells us that Jesus showed the same love, not for the church, but for the world, when He gave His life on the cross.
So if we call ourselves Christians - Christ's followers - then so must we.
We know now what love is, but what does it do?
When Jesus mentions the Greatest Commandment, and the second Commandment, we see three dimensions of love.
We see love for God. And we understand that. We get it. But what we need to understand is that our love for God should also be unconditional. We should love Him even when He does things we don't like or appreciate. We should love Him first and foremost because He is God, not because of His blessings.
We see love for our fellow human. And that's not easy, as we saw earlier. But it is always right.
But there is a third, and often missed, dimension. We are to love our fellow human 'as yourself' - in other words, with the same level of care and attention.
You see, this law assumes that we will love ourselves and take care of ourselves. As Paul states:
After all, no-one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church – for we are members of his body.
Ephesians 5:29-30 NIVUK
In fact, care for our bodies is stated as a reason not to commit sexual sin:
Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another.
Romans 1:24 NIVUK
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.
1 Corinthians 6:18 NIVUK
Essentially, Paul is saying that sexual sin is a form of self-abuse and self-harm. And if you think about it, he does have a very big point.
What the Bible teaches is that we should love ourselves. Not in an egotistical, strutting kind of way. But we should do things that are beneficial for our bodies - like diet, exercise and getting the right amount of sleep - and we should flee from things that are not good for our bodies, such as drunkenness, sexual deviancy and gluttony.
There is a lot of wisdom in that.
The Bible links our ability to love ourselves with our capacity to love others and God.
Again, a lot of wisdom.
In fact, I would say that someone who hates and depreciates and loathes themselves will be incapable of loving other people and have a very poor relationship with God.
Having been reading and studying Scripture for decades, I can tell you that we simply do not find the morose, naval-gazing self-loathing there that we do in our society, except in one context only: that of sin.
Then in the nations where they have been carried captive, those who escape will remember me – how I have been grieved by their adulterous hearts, which have turned away from me, and by their eyes, which have lusted after their idols. They will loathe themselves for the evil they have done and for all their detestable practices.
Ezekiel 6:9 NIVUK
There you will remember your conduct and all the actions by which you have defiled yourselves, and you will loathe yourselves for all the evil you have done.
Ezekiel 20:43 NIVUK
Then you will remember your evil ways and wicked deeds, and you will loathe yourselves for your sins and detestable practices.
Ezekiel 36:31 NIVUK
If you find yourself in a bitter, self-destructive cycle of self-loathing, where you indulge in ever more risky activities because you place no value at all on your continued existence, then I urge you to stop now and look at these verses:
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
Psalms 139:14 NIVUK
The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.’
Zephaniah 3:17 NIVUK
These are God's words about you. And because of these, we ought to take care of ourselves, to look after ourselves, and to do things that benefit and don't harm our body:
Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honour God with your bodies.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 NIVUK
God values you more than anyone else ever will. He loves you so much that He sent Hid Son Jesus to die for you and redeem you from your sin. Sin is both moral failing and not being good enough. You might feel like you fit into either - or both - of these categories. That's not a bad thing, provided your sorrow leads you to repent (2 Corinthians 7:10), and not spend the rest of your life as a morose shoe-gazed, unforgiven and unforgiving, unloving and unloved human being.
Because someone who has not learned to love themselves in a godly way cannot love other people. Someone who does not take care of themselves cannot take care of other people.
In a very real sense, our ability to love God and other people depends on our capacity to love, accept and look after ourselves. And for some of us, this will need a radical and miraculous intervention from God for us to start to see ourselves as He sees us.
Loving God, others and ourselves is not an option for a real Christian. And all three are interlinked: we can't do one without the other two.
So here is the million dollar question: Christian, are you a lover?
Questions
1) Which do you love the most: the Lord or His blessings?
2) Are you able to love others unconditionally, even people who irritate or annoy you? How is this unconditional love obvious to the people around you?
3) How is your love for yourself expressed? Do you agree that your capacity to love God and other people depends on this?
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