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The Love Principle - Study 14: Your Neighbour and Covetousness

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Exodus 20:17 NIVUK 

[17] You shall not covet your neighbour’s house. You shall not covet your neighbour’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbour.’ 

A few days ago at time of writing, one of the train lines between Scotland’s largest cities – Edinburgh and Glasgow – was disrupted for several hours. When staff were sent out to Airdrie station, they discovered the problem: someone had stolen essential cables. 


Without giving any thought to what their theft could mean for hundreds, perhaps thousands, of people, these criminals had stolen those cables, most likely to sell them on the black market. 


This was very inconvenient. However, criminals after a quick gain are causing much greater harm. 


In 2024, for example, a sixty year old shop assistant was strangled while trying to stop someone from stealing a Lego set worth just £40. 


In June 2024, a woman in Arbroath, Scotland, killed one supermarket security guard and injured another while trying to get away with stealing alcohol. 


In April 2023, a security guard in a branch of Home Depot in California was shot and killed trying to prevent someone from shoplifting. 


These events are truly shocking. We cannot fathom how something of such relatively low value could ever be worth taking a human life. 


Yet they have happened. 


And what lay behind these tragic events? 


Theft? Yes. 


But what drove the theft? 


Covetousness. 


We are living in truly troubled times, when nations are turning against nations, gangs against gangs, men and women are deserting their marriages, pornography is turning loneliness into an epidemic, crime makes us afraid and corruption is rife. 


What is the driver of all of these – every single one without exception? 


Covetousness. 


What is it that turned our Garden of Eden utopia into our post-modern dystopia? 


Sin, in general, but covetousness in particular. 


It is without doubt a sin that spreads like wildfire, sinks to the depths of our heart like lead weight and overtakes us like a virulent virus. 


But it can be beaten. It can be overcome. It might seem like a chronic addiction, but there is an antidote. 


This study explains what this dreadful sin is, why God outlawed it and what we can do to beat it. 


Let’s look, then, at What It Is. 

 

What It Is 

Deuteronomy 5:21 NIVUK 

[21] You shall not covet your neighbour’s wife. You shall not set your desire on your neighbour’s house or land, his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbour.’ 

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/113/deu.5.21.NIVUK)


Micah 2:1-2 NIVUK 

[1] Woe to those who plan iniquity, to those who plot evil on their beds! At morning’s light they carry it out because it is in their power to do it. [2] They covet fields and seize them, and houses, and take them. They defraud people of their homes, they rob them of their inheritance. 

James 4:1-3 NIVUK 

[1] What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? [2] You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. [3] When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. 

People like bamboo. It’s a very pretty plant. Bamboo forests in Asia are just tremendously picturesque. Some people love that vibe and plant bamboo in their garden.


That is an enormous mistake. 


Bamboo is a tremendously invasive, thoroughly uncontrollable plant. It’s tough. It’s hardy. It doesn’t just grow in soil. Its roots can even poke through brick, cement and concrete and cause incredible damage to structures and buildings. Its hardiness makes it very difficult to remove.  


Its beauty belies its beastliness. 


Our modern culture thrives on making us want something. Bars and restaurants traditionally leave out salted snacks because they know they will make us thirsty and they make their biggest mark-up on drinks. Advertising makes us think we can’t do without their product, even if it’s toilet roll, to make us want it as if our lives depended on it.  


We pop and we just can’t stop. And that’s how big business likes it. 


The addictiveness of many aspects of modern culture – especially the seedier side – and the use of peer pressure and influencers to create FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) all create an atmosphere where we feel pressured to have, pressured to see, pressured to do, pressured to go. They don’t want us to be happy and contented because happy and contented people don’t buy. 


They want us to want. 


When that want becomes an all-possessing desire, when it crosses lines of decency, common sense and love, then it morphs into covetousness. 


Covetousness is the inappropriate desire for something that belongs to someone else. It’s not the ‘I like that jumper. Where did you get it?’ reaction. 


It’s the ‘I like that jumper, but it looks bad on you, and would look better on me.’ reaction.  


Or the ‘I like that jumper, but you have no business having it because you don’t deserve it, but I do.’ reaction. 


Or the ‘I like that jumper, so tonight I’m going to steal it from your wardrobe.’ reaction. 


Do you see it? 


Covetousness is the gateway sin that causes us to gossip, to slander, to steal, to lie. 


If we give it free reign, it will utterly ruin our mental and spiritual health. 


We have to catch it and kill it. There is no other way. 


So how can we understand this sin? 


Firstly, it’s about what we see. 


The very first temptation tells us this: 


Genesis 3:6 NIVUK 

[6] When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.  

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/113/gen.3.6.NIVUK)


We are never enticed by ugly things. When the devil and the world lay traps for us, they never look like a trap. We must be aware of that.  


But, of course, we see a lot of things. We are surrounded by images that are attempting to make us want and then covet. 


That’s why covetousness is not just a matter of what we see, it’s also a matter of what we think. It’s about how we perceive the object in front of us. 


Look again at Eve’s thoughts. God had told her that eating the forbidden fruit would cause her death. But Eve perceived it instead as being good for food, pleasing to the eye and able to impart wisdom. 


She believed the lie. 


This is where we truly win the battle against covetousness. 


If we see the truth about the things we are tempted to over-value, we will realise that it’s nothing more than a mirage; that, in fact, we are hoodwinking ourselves. 


More to the point, nothing in life is worth our covetousness and the pain it will cause.


Absolutely nothing. 


If we let them, what we see and what we think will then drive how we feel. 


Look at another classic example of what happens when we covet, this time from Ahab’s desire to buy Naboth’s vineyard: 


1 Kings 21:4 NIVUK 

[4] So Ahab went home, sullen and angry because Naboth the Jezreelite had said, ‘I will not give you the inheritance of my ancestors.’ He lay on his bed sulking and refused to eat. 

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/113/1ki.21.4.NIVUK)


This is, of course, an act of astonishing immaturity from a man whose standing would have you led you to believe he would behave differently. 


Yet somehow, perhaps not. 


Look also at the rather stomach-churning goings on with David’s son Amnon: 


2 Samuel 13:3-4 NIVUK 

[3] Now Amnon had an advisor named Jonadab son of Shimeah, David’s brother. Jonadab was a very shrewd man. [4] He asked Amnon, ‘Why do you, the king’s son, look so haggard morning after morning? Won’t you tell me?’ Amnon said to him, ‘I’m in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.’ 

Now, the word for ‘love’ used in the original Hebrew can also encompass sexual obsession, which seems more likely. What we have here is a man who had a thoroughly unnatural, indecent longing for his half-sister. 


He was coveting. 


Something his own father had done towards Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11:2-3). 


Each of these covetous temptations followed the same pattern: they saw, they thought about it, believed themselves to be entitled to it, and this changed the way they felt. 


After what we see, what we think and how we feel comes the part when sin manifests itself in what we do. 


Which happened in all these cases. 


Although in Ahab's case, it was more about what his wife Jezebel did (1 Kings 21:8-17). 


But with the others, Davis slept with Bathsheba, impregnating her, and then had her husband killed (2 Samuel 11:4-27). His son Amnon raped his half-sister (2 Samuel 13:7-19). 


We might think this is quite extreme, but look at the other five commands before this one: 


Exodus 20:12-16 NIVUK 

[12] Honour your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you. [13] You shall not murder. [14] You shall not commit adultery. [15] You shall not steal. [16] You shall not give false testimony against your neighbour. 

Is it really such a stretch of the imagination for covetousness to play a decisive role in our breaking of any of these? To usurp parental authority? To murder? To commit adultery? To steal? To lie?


And that is the problem. We don’t think about covetousness. Not at all. 


Yet this sin is so dangerous. It can wind its way into our lives unnoticed and ruin them from the inside before we are even aware that it’s there. 


That’s why we should not just be aware of what we do, but also how we think and feel. 


And in some cases, if we know the effect it has on us, also what we see. 


Because this temptation is deadly and must be destroyed. 


So we know now what it is. Let’s also look at What It Does. 

 

What It Does 

James 4:1-10 NIVUK 

[1] What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? [2] You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. [3] When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. [4] You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. [5] Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us? [6] But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: ‘God opposes the proud but shows favour to the humble.’ [7] Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. [8] Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. [9] Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. [10] Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. 

As I write these words, I am struggling with some kind of cold virus. To get me through the working day, each morning I select a medicine that contains caffeine to give me energy and each night I take something that will help my nose stay dry and not run while I sleep. I am, of course, making sure that I get plenty of fluids and vitamin C, as well as rest. 


We choose things that help us and are good for us according to what they do for us. 


But how many of us would choose covetousness if we really knew what this awful sin does to us? 


Covetousness attacks us in the one place where we are most vulnerable and open to manipulation: our feelings, our emotions. It then uses this to change how we think about things, which then alters what we do about them. 


Its primary target is our relationships. It seeks to destroy them along all possible latitudes. 

Its first target is not what we might expect. The first relationship it seeks to harm is actually Our Relationship With God. 


Think again at these verses in James: 


James 1:16-17 NIVUK 

[16] Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. [17] Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.  

Covetousness is fundamentally discontented.  It sees that what it has is not sufficient, not enough. 


Not good. 


But we believe that God is good: 


Psalms 100:1-5 NIVUK 

[1] Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth. [2] Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. [3] Know that the Lord is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture. [4] Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. [5] For the Lord is good and his love endures for ever; his faithfulness continues through all generations. 

It follows, then, that if we don’t have things we perceive as good, then God, being good, has a good reason why. We become contented by trusting in Him, that He will always provide us with what we need: 


Philippians 4:11-13 NIVUK 

[11] I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. [12] I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. [13] I can do all this through him who gives me strength. 

When we become covetous, though, the opposite is true. We do not believe that our circumstances are good. We do not trust God’s good purposes. Instead, we trust our own. 


So we look with covetousness on what other people have and seek to take it for ourselves, or to take it from them so neither of us can have it. 


A covetous person does not believe that God is good. 


A covetous person does not and cannot love God. 


How can I say something so stark and direct? 


Simple.  


A covetous person is not content with what God has given them. 


A covetous person constantly complains and grumbles. 


A covetous person doubts that God is doing the right thing by them.  


A covetous person doubts God’s motivation and intention. 


Are any of those the actions of someone who loves God? 


Of course not! 


So covetousness disrupts our relationship with God. It also, and rather obviously, disrupts Our Relationships with Other People, as we saw in James: 


James 4:1-3 NIVUK 

[1] What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? [2] You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. [3] When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. 

We covet what other people have. This damages our thoughts and our attitudes towards them. We become bitter and angry and bear grudges. Getting ahead of them in life by any means becomes our goal, rather than love. 


This leads to some pretty awful behaviour. 


I’m sure you have seen it. You may have even experienced it for yourself. 


I know I have. 


It’s horrible. 


It’s also a pretty profoundly disobedient situation because it just isn’t love. 


The person who is responsible for this situation is not the subject of our covetousness. Often they are just going about their daily lives, completely oblivious to us and the angst we feel. 


No, it’s us. We are responsible for it. We are accountable for it. We have to change. Not them. 


Apart from our relationships with God and with our neighbours, it also, and very profoundly, affects Our Relationship with Ourselves.  


Paul wrote these wise words to the Galatians: 


Galatians 6:4-5 NIVUK 

[4] Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, [5] for each one should carry their own load.  

And again to the Corinthians: 


2 Corinthians 10:12 NIVUK 

[12] We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.  

Living a life of covetousness is to live a life of false comparisons. To twist a British saying, it’s like comparing apples to pears and wondering why your pears can’t produce apple juice.


The reason is obvious: apples are not pears and pears are not apples. 


If you compare yourself to someone else and wonder why they have things you do not, there is a reason for that: they are not you and you are not them. If you keep trying to be like them, eventually you will no longer be you. 


That is how things are. 


Comparing what others have and are and do to what you have and are and do is foolishness. Look what Jesus told Peter, when he was distracted by what might happen to John: 


John 21:21-22 NIVUK 

[21] When Peter saw him, he asked, ‘Lord, what about him?’ [22] Jesus answered, ‘If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.’  

When you seek to be like others, you are following them, not Jesus. You are comparing yourself to people you can never become. You are setting an impossible target for yourself. 


And while you are doing it, you are damaging all the most fundamental relationships in your life. 


Covetousness is an enormous act of self-harm. It ruins our self-image. It trashes our sense of who we are. It completely destroys our identity. 


There are few sins that are more destructive. 


It has no redeeming features. It is pure poison: nothing more, nothing less. 


We must renounce it and be rid of it as soon as possible. 


Which begs the question: if covetousness needs to go, what should replace it? What is the antidote for this awful venom? 


That’s why after looking at what it is and what it does, we must now examine How To Stop It. 

 

How to Stop It 

Philippians 4:11-13 NIVUK 

[11] I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. [12] I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. [13] I can do all this through him who gives me strength. 

I don’t know how true it is, but a former pastor of mine once shared the legend of an older woman who lived near a German airport during the Second World War. She was sick fed up of Luftwaffe planes constantly flying low over her house and making it shake. She spoke numerous times to the officers in the airbase, but they ignored her. After all, there was a war on. 


Who was she anyway? 


The legend says that she decided to protest. So she made a catapult and some pies. Each time a pilot flew low over her house, she would fire a pie at his plane. 


Eventually, the mess this woman made of their planes forced the Luftwaffe’s hand; they changed their flight path. 


Now, I don’t advise us to the same. If I did, then the villages around Heathrow airport would probably run out of pastry. 


The reason I have mentioned this legend is that covetousness is a mighty and deeply-rooted sin. The Bible has a simple weapon against it. That weapon is contentment. 


Yet we might see this weapon as pathetically weak against the sinful behemoth that is covetousness. We might think that it’s a bit like aiming pies at the Luftwaffe. 


But let me tell you, it’s not. 


Contentment is the best weapon against covetousness.  


In fact, it’s the only weapon that works. 


Look at these wise words about coveting wealth: 


1 Timothy 6:6-10 NIVUK 

[6] But godliness with contentment is great gain. [7] For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. [8] But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. [9] Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. [10] For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. 

And again: 


Hebrews 13:5-6 NIVUK 

[5] Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’ [6] So we say with confidence, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?’ 

And again:  


Psalms 131:1-3 NIVUK 

[1] My heart is not proud, Lord, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. [2] But I have calmed and quietened myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content. [3] Israel, put your hope in the Lord both now and for evermore. 

This is precisely the opposite of covetousness. It is precisely the opposite of envy. It is the simple belief that God knows what He is doing, that God is good, that God is love and that whatever we have is from God. 


When we truly believe that, deep in our hearts, then no matter what we see, it will not change what we think, what we feel or what we do. Everything within us is shaped by the simple quietness and peace that comes from being content. 


And it is bliss. Indifferent to what we have or do not have, it is bliss. 


It is ironic, is it not, that the discontentment which comes with covetousness comes because we are reaching for a happiness we do not have. We think that something we do not yet have in our possession will bring us happiness. And so we covet what our neighbours have, thinking it will. 


But it won’t. 


Because real happiness comes when we submit to the goodness of God and are content with what we have now. 


That is what really makes us happy. 

 

Conclusion 

Exodus 20:17 NIVUK 

[17] You shall not covet your neighbour’s house. You shall not covet your neighbour’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbour.’ 

When I was in my thirties, I had an ego problem. I fully admit it. I really believed that I was better than most people in my department. 


Now, there were aspects of my work where I was really good. 


There were other aspects where I was less good, where I needed to improve. 


But when a colleague was promoted over me, it hurt. It hurt badly. I was convinced I was better than him. I could not believe that he deserved the promotion. It irked me really badly.  


Because the one area I needed to improve on more than any other was my ego. 


The goal of being promoted, particularly so I could be a grade above my colleague, drove me on. I’m afraid I fell hook, line and sinker for the lies of the world and I coveted what he had. 


The result was that I became bitter and angry. I didn’t want to even see this colleague. I bore a huge grudge against him. 


I eventually got promoted – to a grade above him – in another department. But it didn’t make it right. 


My attitude had stunk. 


That, friends, is what covetousness does. I had coveted a promotion. It poisoned my attitude and my relationship with my colleague. 


And I know now that what I did then was very badly wrong. 


Life is sometimes unfair. There are times when people who don’t seem to deserve it get what we believe we deserve (Psalm 73:1-3). We may well wonder why. 


But the one thing we were not allowed to do – ever – is to covet what they have, even if we believe we should have it. 


We have seen in this study what covetousness is, what it does and how we can stop it. 


Covetousness has many, many guises: lust, theft, gossip, slander, envy, violence, greed – they, among many others, are all fuelled by it. 


Now that we know what it looks like and what it can do, isn’t it time we repented of it? 

 

Prayer 

Lord Jesus, I see just how ugly covetousness is. I long to be done with it. Examine my heart, show me where it has taken a bitter root in me and help me to eliminate it from my life. Amen. 


Questions for Contemplation 

  • What is covetousness and why is it so wrong? 

  • What does it do? What does it say? 

  • Have you coveted anything? How will you make sure that it never happens again? 

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