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The Love Principle - Study 11: Your Neighbour and Adultery

  • 2 hours ago
  • 22 min read

Exodus 20:14 NIVUK 

[14] You shall not commit adultery. 

This study discusses human sexuality. As a necessary part of this, it will also discuss aspects of human sexuality that are sensitive and potentially triggering for those who have had harmful experiences of it. If you don’t want to read it for those reasons, I completely understand. Please be aware that I am praying that you experience complete healing and restoration. 

 

A number of years ago, my wife stared at a Facebook post and video in dumbstruck incredulity. Her former youth pastor, a man whom she had looked up to and respected for many years, had committed adultery with one of the young people in his care and fathered a child with her. There he was, on a video, confessing his sin publicly in front of around ten thousand people in a church service, who were then informed that he had been fired for his sin. 


Unfortunately, that was not the last time an event like that has taken place. Numerous senior Christians who have pastored churches, evangelised millions, sung amazing songs, written books or taken the Gospel to far-flung places have succumbed to the sin of adultery. 


Yet in 2019, when Republican gubernatorial candidate Robert Forster refused to allow the female Mississippi Today journalist Larrison Campbell to travel alone with him as he campaigned to avoid the appearance of something untoward, he was mocked by many on the left who just did not understand what he was doing. 


Adultery is a very serious issue for every Christian – indeed, for every human being. I am a bit too old (and a bit too married) to use them, but I hear reports that dating apps nowadays are not the place to find someone, well, to date. Most of them these days are where people go online to basically have sex with strangers.  


Recently a Thai woman who runs an above-board massage parlour in the north of Scotland had to stop accepting male clients, because she was receiving so many disgusting propositions for sex that she had to refer them to the local police. 


You may wonder why I am not resorting to modern euphemisms like ‘hook-ups’ or ‘one night stands’ or ‘a bit on the side’ or ‘a fly bit of nookie’. I don’t think they are at all helpful or constructive. They conceal the reality of what is going on here, and that is dangerous. It’s like placing bleach in an unlabelled lemonade bottle and sitting it on a table surrounded by young children who can’t yet read. 


Let’s call it out for what it is.  


Using dating apps for sex is basically having sex with strangers. It is prostitution without pay. It is grossly immoral, even among consenting adults. Not to mention exploitative and highly dangerous. It is wrong. 


One night stands are appalling. They are, quite frankly, using people for your own gratification as if they were drugs or alcohol. They are dehumanising. They are degrading. They are wrong. 


Swinging is a euphemistic name for basically having sex with someone else’s wife or partner. That is what it is. It’s devaluing. It’s dehumanising. It's wrong.


Having any form of sexual contact without consent or by coercion, whether penetrative or not, is unjustifiable, unacceptable, and utterly wrong. There cannot be any reason for it. There is no reason for it. 


I’m not saying these things to be controversial. The reality is simple: they, among many other modern behaviours, are what the Bible says are adulterous. I will explain why soon in this study. But we have to understand for now how incredibly widespread sexual practices have become that the Bible says are wrong, and how our modern society has not only tolerated them, but accepted them, and, in some cases, actively promoted them.


Worse, it has invented nice little euphemisms to make something ugly and obscene seem ‘okay’. 


As Christians, we cannot do that. We have to see things as they are, call them as they are and avoid them as they are. Every human being is made in God’s image (Genesis 1:27). They are God’s artwork. His poem. His individual masterpiece. 


We have no right to treat them as nothing more than tools for our own gratification or a popper to make us feel good, whether we have their consent or not. Human beings are just way too valuable and precious for that. 


Right back when the Christian church spread beyond its conservative Jewish roots into the somewhat more permissive Gentile landscape, the Apostles placed very few restrictions on the new non-Jewish believers: 


Acts 15:28-29 NIVUK 

[28] It seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us not to burden you with anything beyond the following requirements: [29] You are to abstain from food sacrificed to idols, from blood, from the meat of strangled animals and from sexual immorality. You will do well to avoid these things. Farewell. 

So sexual immorality of any kind was out of the question for the new believers. And that put them distinctly at odds with the dominant Roman and Greek cultures of the day.  


We saw an example of this a few years ago on the site of the ruined city of Pompeii. In that archaeological site, there is a building that used to be a brothel. They were quite faded, but in one room of the brothel all manner of sexual positions were illustrated on the wall. A man or a woman could walk into that hall and order sex in the same way one would order a fast food meal nowadays.


And that is the point. The apostles wanted God’s people to treasure and to value sexual intercourse, to treat both it and their sexual partner with respect. The hedonistic pagan ways then, and now, have cheapened it. They have turned it into a sideshow, a joke, just another way to spend an evening. 


God’s intention was for it to be way more than that. 


Which is why there is this clear, unmistakable, unequivocal command: ‘No adultery’. 


But what was God actually banning? What is Adultery? 

 

What is Adultery? 

Proverbs 6:30-33 NIVUK 

[30] People do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy his hunger when he is starving. [31] Yet if he is caught, he must pay sevenfold, though it costs him all the wealth of his house. [32] But a man who commits adultery has no sense; whoever does so destroys himself. [33] Blows and disgrace are his lot, and his shame will never be wiped away. 

Definitions are very important. Without them we would have no proper language or communication. We wouldn’t know what we mean. 


So we need to understand correctly what adultery is. 


Adultery, in law, is defined as sexual contact with someone other than your spouse. In the Jewish context, it was defined wider as sexual contact with anyone with whom you were not betrothed or married, as adultery could take place while someone was engaged.  


In fact – and this custom has still survived in other modern cultures – a woman who could not provide proof that her husband took her virginity the first time they had sexual contact could be stoned to death if she had displeased her husband in some way (Deuteronomy 22:13-21). There was no equivalent command for men, likely because it was biologically a little harder to find evidence. 


However, Jewish law was equally as uncompromising with those who had sexual contact with someone else’s wife (Deuteronomy 22:22), with someone who was betrothed to be married (Deuteronomy 22:23-27) or even single (Deuteronomy 22:28-29). In fact, if a man forced himself on a single woman, the law forced him to support her as his wife and did not allow him to divorce her. 


The upshot of this, however we see it, is that sexual contact for the Jews was for inside marriage only. 


Of course, this was not true of the original occupants of the Promised Land. The Canaanites were renowned for the practice of ritualised temple prostitution as part of their worship. Even the Patriarchs indulged in it (or thought they did – Genesis 38), the Israelites were led astray by it (Numbers 25) and even tried to replicate it as part of their own worship (1 Samuel 2:22). 


So you can imagine, then, how utterly counter-cultural it was in Moses’ day for that simple command of ‘No adultery’ to be given by God at Mount Sinai.  It would require the Israelites to remove themselves permanently from the evil, promiscuous, self-centred, pleasure-focused idolatry of the nations around them. 


Their practice of human sexuality, as well as so many other things, was to mark them out as unique. As special. As holy. 


Adultery and idolatry were interlinked. In fact, idolatry – the worship of gods other than the One True God – is referred to often as spiritual adultery (Jeremiah 3:9; Ezekiel 23:36-37; Hosea 1:2 among many others). 


Although it was regulated in Jewish law, polygamy and the taking of a concubine as a ‘junior-level’ wife (Exodus 21:10) were not part of God’s plan, even if it was part of the local contemporary culture at the time. Look at how God designed marriage: 


Genesis 2:24 NIVUK 

[24] That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. 

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/113/gen.2.24.NIVUK)


There are no plurals in this sentence. The man leaves his mother and father to be with his wife and they become one flesh. He cannot become that same one flesh with someone else. 


The original design was clearly for one man to marry one woman, for them to be each other’s exclusive sexual partners and for this to continue until death parted them. Within the Word of God, there is no other model for human sexuality. All deviations from this are adultery, and therefore sin. 


Regardless of how that sits with us. 


So now we know what adultery is. The second question we will ask is one that seems obvious, but there are varying opinions about the details, so we must be clear: When Am I Committing Adultery? 

 

When Am I Committing Adultery? 

Matthew 5:27-30 NIVUK 

[27]  ‘You have heard that it was said, “You shall not commit adultery.” [28] But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. [29] If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. [30] And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell. 

Since the advent of social media, influencers have often competed with each other over who can film the most spectacular, most edgy, most risky content. This has led to people doing extraordinarily foolish things to get attention: such as dangling themselves off helicopters or cliff edges or ledges. Far too many people have died because they took stupid and irresponsible risks just to draw attention to themselves. 


You just wish they had the common sense to realise they were too close to the edge. 

 

The same principle applies with adultery. It is a deadly sin. It causes unimaginable pain, both to ourselves and to other people. The consequences in terms of broken marriages and homes and lives are just awful. 


Yet it’s a sin people like to play with as if they were juggling radioactive isotopes. 


Legally, the edge is sexual contact. It is the physical deed. If you do it with someone with whom you are not married, it is adultery.  


For many people, that is the line. 


But getting close to it permits all kinds of utterly destructive behaviour. As one sitcom character joked of his wife, ‘She doesn’t care how I get my motor running, provided I park in the right garage.’ 


Really? 


Jesus taught something completely different, and so utterly counter-cultural – even for the conservative Jews. He taught that even wishing or fantasising about crossing that adultery line with someone else was tantamount to committing adultery in your heart.  


In other words, yes, the act of adultery is sin. No-one is questioning that. But Jesus is also saying that the desire to commit the act of adultery is also sin. 


Now, think very carefully about the power of that teaching. Let it settle carefully in your mind. 


It means that any fantasy about sexual contact with anyone at all – including people who are plainly unattainable and where your fantasy is beyond unrealistic – is sin. 


It means that the use of any form of pornography is sin. 


It means that erotic fan fiction is sin. 


It means that movies with sex scenes designed to titillate and excite, or with teasing or hinted at nudity are sin. 


All of it – the fantasising and the encouragement of it – are all sinful.  


For anyone seeking to please Christ, these are all wrong. They are not where we should be. 


Perhaps that shocks you or surprises you. Perhaps you are indignant that behaviours you think are safe and harmless and you consider to be fun are now being held up as sin. 


But there is a very good reason for it. 


Let’s consider again the text we are examining throughout this series: 


Matthew 22:37-40 NIVUK 

[37] Jesus replied: ‘ “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” [38] This is the first and greatest commandment. [39] And the second is like it: “Love your neighbour as yourself.” [40] All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.’ 

Again, let’s remind ourselves that all obedience to God rests on these two commands and three latitudes. 


If we fantasise about someone whom God has not given us (or even given us yet), what are we saying about God? 


Are we not saying that He is not good, or not good enough? Are we now saying that He has not taken care of our needs adequately enough because He has kept from us this person about whom we are fantasising? 


Is this a loving thing to do towards God? 


And what about the person about whom we are fantasising? Are we not objectifying them? Are we not reducing them from someone made in the image of God, His handiwork, his artistry, to just a feel-good pill, a disposable object for our gratification? 


Is this a loving thing to do towards them? 


And what about ourselves? 


Are we not setting ourselves up for a massive disappointment by lying to ourselves, deceiving ourselves with lusty fantasies to which reality will most likely not measure up? Are we not comparing other people with a dream that is entirely unrealistic? Are we not preparing ourselves for a rush into the fantasy we can control to avoid the potential pain of the real world we cannot? 


Is that a loving thing to do to ourselves? 


That’s just it. Adultery, even unexpressed, fantasised adultery, is harmful across all of the latitudes of love and a violation of both of the commands to love.  


Adultery is not just wrong when sexual contact takes place outside of marriage, it’s wrong when we begin to imagine it taking place. That’s where the line is. And that’s when we need to repent and turn back. 


But maybe what I've written so far is still not enough for you to be convinced of just how wrong it is. The Bible has many examples that answer the question Why Is Adultery So Wrong? That’s what we will look at next. 

 

Why Is Adultery So Wrong? 

2 Samuel 13:15 NIVUK 

[15] Then Amnon hated her with intense hatred. In fact, he hated her more than he had loved her. Amnon said to her, ‘Get up and get out!’ 

When I was in primary school, I believe it was when I was in Primary Six (so around eleven years old), the school decided to show us the horrors of smoking to make us realise what it did to our body. It was a little too late – some of the kids had already been stealing cigarettes from their parents or bumming them outside tobacconist stores, or stealing them from supermarkets, for a couple of years already. 


The teachers brought out plates with pig lungs that had been injected with tar and then got us to slice them open. Of course, the reaction was dramatic. Not a few children felt quite queasy.  


Others were just looking forward to their playground puff behind a nearby wall. They were already addicted. 


It’s often very effective to see what can happen to us if we choose a particular course of action. In some of its least preached on verses, the Bible contains the real stories of real people that both shock and disgust in equal measure. 


Some of the most lurid stories in the Old Testament are about adultery. 


These are very difficult stories to read. They are quite strong medicine. However, we need to understand them so that we take in the full horror that we risk unfolding when we dabble in adultery. 


The first, and by far the best known, is David’s with Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11). 


Look carefully at this story, even though it’s thoroughly unnerving. What do you see? 

Dereliction of duty leads to lust. Lust leads to abuse of power. Abuse of power leads to sex. Sex leads to pregnancy, so the facts of the case will become known. Pregnancy leads to plotting. Plotting leads to death. Death leads to another death (2 Samuel 12:1-25). 


This whole unholy mess began not in a bar or on a date, but with a man on a rooftop, gazing down on a beautiful woman, dreaming of what he could do and then realising he had the means to make it come true. If David, a married man, had stopped himself from taking Bathsheba, a married woman, by cutting off that lustful thought before it took root, he could have avoided a very painful situation and the loss of one of his most senior soldiers, not to mention his child.


And yes, I know, the union of David and Bathsheba produced Solomon, but that was an act of grace of God. It was not because of their sin, it was in spite of their sin. 


The full effect of their sin did not stop with the loss of their first child. What happened next is even more unsavoury, even more difficult to swallow. 


But we must look at it. 


Amnon, David’s eldest and first in line to the throne, fell for his half-sister Tamar (1 Samuel 13:1). 


I hesitate here to use the world ‘love’. The Hebrew word used here has a much broader sense than just ‘love’. It also talks of sexual appetite.  


It would be more accurate to say that he was infatuated with her, obsessed with her, driven wild by her. That would explain his lovesickness for her (1 Samuel 13:2). What would have made this worse was that, as a virgin, she was available for marriage, but, as her half-brother, she was not available to him. 


She was unattainable. Out of reach. 


Amnon received advice which was, quite frankly, misogynistic (2 Samuel 13:3-6).  


He took that horrid advice and forced himself upon his half-sister Tamar. He raped his own half-sister (2 Samuel 13:7-14). 


It’s then that we read these awful, tragic words: 


2 Samuel 13:15 NIVUK 

[15] Then Amnon hated her with intense hatred. In fact, he hated her more than he had loved her. Amnon said to her, ‘Get up and get out!’ 

This verse is intense. From this point on, Tamar was no longer eligible for marriage as her virginity had been taken. Amnon’s distancing of himself from her meant that marriage to his half-sister was not going to happen either. She spent the rest of her days living with her brother Absalom in a state of desolation (2 Samuel 13:20). 


So in a fit of nothing more than complete and utter selfishness, Amnon completely ruined his half-sister Tamar’s prospects and, indeed, her life. 


But why the sudden change of feelings towards his sister? Why did ‘love’ suddenly become hate? 


The answer is simple, but so very profound. 


His feelings towards Tamar were built on a singular obsession. He wasn’t seeking to marry her or to have a relationship with her, he simply wanted to have sex with her. This was lust. It wasn’t love. He had objectified his beautiful half-sister. Men in this state also fantasise. He had built himself up into such a frenzy that he couldn’t eat. 


And then reality bit hard. He’d got what he’d desired, but it clearly wasn’t what he’d hoped it would be. He’d come crashing down to earth. 


Had he also realised what he’d done? He wouldn’t be the first, or the last, person to be filled with revulsion over his sin and project that self-hatred and self-loathing onto someone else. 


And so the intention to have just one night of passion turned into a moment that ruined two people’s lives and mangled family relationships. 


Just like David’s dalliance with Bathsheba, this one also ended with murder (2 Samuel 13:23-39). 


Do you see what happened here? Beneath the horrific and disgusting crimes of rape and incest and murder, what we see is how a desire for someone you cannot and should not have can very quickly spiral out of control, if you don’t stop it. 


There is another example, in the New Testament.  


King Herod. 


Again, this is a tale of lust and adultery that went way too far: 


Matthew 14:3-4 NIVUK 

[3] Now Herod had arrested John and bound him and put him in prison because of Herodias, his brother Philip’s wife, [4] for John had been saying to him: ‘It is not lawful for you to have her.’  

History tells us that Herod Antipas had married Phasa’El, a Nabatean princess. However, when he visited his half-brother Herod II, he coveted his half-brother’s wife Herodias, who was also his niece. They agreed to marry after Herod Antipas had divorced his Nabatean wife, which eventually provoked a war that Herod Antipas lost. 


John the Baptist was vocal in criticising Herod Antipas’ second marriage, and not without good reason. It was both incestuous and illegal under Jewish law: 


Leviticus 18:16 NIVUK 

[16] ‘ “Do not have sexual relations with your brother’s wife; that would dishonour your brother. 

Herod Antipas feared a rebellion, so he locked John the Baptist up. Herod Antipas found himself backed into a corner while a little tipsy and ended up ordering John’s beheading (Matthew 14:6-12). 


All three of these dreadful tales have something in common. They start with adulterous desires. Then we have the act of adultery. Then we have the consequences. In each of these historical tales, someone had to die. Death followed adultery. 


In some more conservative countries, that is still the case. Even actions that resemble adultery are harshly punished. 


Jewish law was no different: 


Leviticus 20:10 NIVUK 

[10] ‘ “If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife – with the wife of his neighbour – both the adulterer and the adulteress are to be put to death. 

While in no way am I advocating for it, there is a reality behind this. Adultery always causes something to die. First it is our conscience, which becomes hardened with each step towards something we know to be wrong. Then it is our relationships with God, our neighbours (those affected by our adultery) and even ourselves. 


In fact, in the Bible the worship of other gods is actually labelled as spiritual adultery (Ezekiel 23:36-37). And I really can see why.  


In fact, adultery is idolatry, because it involves disobedience to God, devaluing Him and debasing our relationship with Him, and exalting our own sexual desires above Him.


Adultery is a form of self-worship. 


Which is ironic, because it degrades both us and the people with whom we participate in it.

 

Adultery is a singularly serious crime. It is not at all a joke. 


That is why Jesus told us to stay well clear of it. 


We have seen what adultery is, when we are committing it and why it’s so serious. But What Should I Do If I Am Committing Adultery? What should I do it I realise I am this far in the wrong? 

 

What Should I Do If I Am Committing Adultery? 

John 8:10-11 NIVUK 

[10] Jesus straightened up and asked her, ‘Woman, where are they? Has no-one condemned you?’ [11]  ‘No-one, sir,’ she said. ‘Then neither do I condemn you,’ Jesus declared. ‘Go now and leave your life of sin.’ 

Adultery is one of the most widespread sins of the modern world. All around us there are lures that try to trap us into having adulterous thoughts which take us across the love line and move us closer to committing this dangerous sin. 


It’s even being monetised, and has been for millenia. 


I want right now to share some advice for those who find themselves caught in its deadly grip. I am fully aware that even among those reading these lines there could be someone who either is locked into a sinful habit or is actually actively breaking the seventh commandment 


It wouldn’t surprise me if that was the case. A recent survey of 18-21 year olds revealed that 64% of them have accessed pornography online and 25% of 18-25 year old do it on a regular basis. In the United States, around 90-95% of people have had premarital sex. The percentage of those who were not faithful to their marriage partner is a lot lower, with 20% of married men and 13% of married women being unfaithful. 


Do we honestly think the Christian community will be that much different? 


So what can you do if you are in that situation? 


Firstly, wise up. Stop trying to justify it. Stop trying to rationalise it. Stop trying to blame other people for it. You are in the wrong. That’s all there is to it. 


You will not be able to fix this problem until you admit it: 


1 John 1:8-10 NIVUK 

[8] If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. [9] If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. [10] If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us. 

Secondly, get out. When the woman caught in adultery was brought to Jesus by the misogynistic Pharisees and teachers of the Law, what did He say to her?

 

‘Go now and leave your life of sin.’ 


He didn’t judge her. He didn’t condemn her. He told her right then and there to repent and to leave her life of sin. 


That’s it. It’s as simple as that. Repent and leave. 


You might argue that doing so will cause other people pain. But do you know something? Your adultery is already causing pain. First and foremost, you should care about your relationship with God. You have broken that by participating in adultery. Then you should care about your relationship with your family. Your adultery has broken that too. 


They are the relationships which matter most of all. 


Yes, it is awful that you will have brought a third party into the equation and hurt them too, but you should have considered that before you objectified them, showed them no love at all and used them for your own gratification. 


Do the right thing: leave your life of sin. 


Thirdly, seek reconciliation. Try to fix the relationships you have broken. 


The first relationship you have broken is your relationship with God. That is the first one you should repair. 


You should then seek to repair all the relationships that were caught in the ‘blast radius’ of your sin: your spouse, your children, your church if necessary. 


Seek reconciliation only with those who knew about the situation and were hurt by it. 


Fourthly, cut it out. Jesus wrote these wise, but challenging words: 


Mark 9:43, 45, 47-48 NIVUK 

[43] If your hand causes you to stumble, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life maimed than with two hands to go into hell, where the fire never goes out.  
[45] And if your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life crippled than to have two feet and be thrown into hell.  
[47] And if your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell, [48] where ‘ “the worms that eat them do not die, and the fire is not quenched.” 

Jesus was not talking here about actual dismemberment. He was talking figuratively about being careful about the things we see, the things we do and the places we go to. He meant that we should survey these to check if any of them are leading us into sin, and if they are, cut ourselves off from them. 


That is an entirely healthy thing to do. 


Fifthly, flee from it. 


1 Corinthians 6:18 NIVUK 

[18] Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. 

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/113/1co.6.18.NIVUK)


What this means is that if there are certain situations or places or people that make you vulnerable to temptation, specifically sexual temptation, do not go there. Or if you must go there, do not go there alone. 


Specifically – and this is very important – this includes the taking of drugs or alcohol.


No Christian should ever be intoxicated. That is just a fact. However, if you find that sin starts to become attractive when your inhibitions are down after a drink or two, or popping a pill or a gummy, then be sensible enough to just stop. Your relationships with God and your family are way more important than your ‘right’ to party. 


Adultery may seem like innocent fun, and the thought crimes associated with it might seem like they have no victims, but nothing could be further from the truth. This is a sin with serious consequences that causes unbelievable pain. 


Remember that the next time you are tempted and don’t go anywhere near it. 

 

Conclusion  

Proverbs 7:24-27 NIVUK 

[24] Now then, my sons, listen to me; pay attention to what I say. [25] Do not let your heart turn to her ways or stray into her paths. [26] Many are the victims she has brought down; her slain are a mighty throng. [27] Her house is a highway to the grave, leading down to the chambers of death. 

1 Corinthians 6:18-20 NIVUK 

[18] Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. [19] Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; [20] you were bought at a price. Therefore honour God with your bodies. 

Many years ago we were passing through Bangkok, Thailand. We visited many places: malls, palaces, temples. But there was one famous street I did not want to be anywhere near: 


Khao San Road. 


It’s the backpacker district. It’s full of cheap restaurants. 


But also bars. 


Bars where prostitution and people trafficking are both rife and prosper totally unchecked by the Thai authorities. 


Knowing this was true, I could not bring myself, in all good conscience, to spend my time or money there. What they were doing disgusted me. 


As Christians, that is the reaction we should always have when we come across temptations to commit adultery. We ought to react to them with revulsion and horror. After all, this popular sin objectifies and destroys. 


It’s as far from harmless fun as it’s possible to be. 


We may try to reason it out or justify it. We might say that our ‘bit on the side’ does things for us our spouse does not do. 


But it’s all wrong.  


If we claim to truly love our spouse, we cannot belittle them in this way. 


If we claim to love our family, we cannot expose them to the pain caused by our utter selfishness. 


I have answered four questions about adultery in this study: What us adultery? When am I committing adultery? Why is adultery so wrong? What should I do if I am committing adultery? 


I have shared them with the aim of destroying the popular lie that sexuality is something that is intensely private and that what goes on behind closed doors between consenting adults is no-one else’s business. 


That is completely and utterly wrong. How can it be true, when our spouses, families and communities are adversely affected by our selfishness when we give in to the sin of adultery? It is not a victimless crime. It affects other people. 


It affects our relationship with God first and foremost. 


No Christian who is seeking to please God and live a life of love can be involved in this. It is far beneath us. 


Please, Christian, heed the call. Flee from sexual immorality. Hoist this sign above the door of your heart: 


‘No adultery.’ 


Prayer

Lord Jesus, I am shocked and appalled by how close I have come to breaking Your command and committing this utterly heinous sin. I repent of it now. Help me to flee from adultery and live a pure life of love that points others to You. Amen


Questions for Contemplation

  • What is adultery? Why is it so utterly wrong? Is it ever justified?

  • Where did Jesus draw the line? Why did He draw it there?

  • What will you do to live a life free of adultery? What steps must you take to get there?

 

 

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