“From this day on, from this twenty-fourth day of the ninth month, give careful thought to the day when the foundation of the Lord ’s temple was laid. Give careful thought: is there yet any seed left in the barn? Until now, the vine and the fig-tree, the pomegranate and the olive tree have not borne fruit. ‘ “From this day on I will bless you.” ’
Haggai 2:18-19 NIVUK
In 2003 I met a Welshman while walking through a poor neighbourhood in Cebu City, Philippines. He was sat outside his house, hand washing his children's clothes outside until his knuckles bled. And boy, was he an angry man! I lost count of the number of times he cursed the British government while I was talking with him.
It turned out that he had applied for a visa for his wife and it was rejected. So he sued the British government and lost. I was curious why it was rejected, so I asked him if he had a job in the UK. He didn't. Or a house or apartment of his own. He didn't.
These are absolutely the most basic requirements for a spouse visa. You must have somewhere to live on your own and not have to rely on the state to make a living. There was no way he could get a visa for his wife. Yet this guy blamed everyone but himself.
Hundreds of thousands of people lived in that neighbourhood. Most of them went about their business with a smile on their face and the sense of fun and enjoyment that is typical of Filipinos - even those from poorer neighbourhoods. Like him, they would love to take their families to somewhere like the UK and start a new life. But for them it was a dream. They had no right to expect it. Neither did that Welshman. He didn't meet the conditions. But he believed he should get what he wanted anyway and was furious that he didn't.
That is how it works when we're angry. Change happens to all of us. It's inevitable. Being angry about what's happening might be the natural reaction, but does it really do us any good? Which of the protests on the streets have changed the government's mind on Covid restrictions?
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret – it leads only to evil.
Psalms 37:8 NIVUK
An angry person stirs up conflict, and a hot-tempered person commits many sins.
Proverbs 29:22 NIVUK
You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage...
Colossians 3:7-8 NIVUK
When we realise that nothing good will come out of our anger then we must let it go.
Being sad may also be the natural reaction. It may also be necessary - but only for a time. When tough situations come up, we should face it, feel it and then fight on. Sadness becomes dangerous if we dwell on it for too long.
Yes, we do see the words "Blessed are those who mourn" in Scripture, but that is because they will be comforted (Matthew 5:4). Sadness and mourning and tears are supposed to be a stopover, not a destination:
Sing the praises of the Lord , you his faithful people; praise his holy name. For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favour lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.
Psalms 30:4-5 NIVUK
“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death” or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.’
Revelation 21:4 NIVUK
Our destination is supposed to be joy. Our destination is supposed to be happiness. And yes, that is where we will be in heaven. But there is something that prevents us from experiencing it right now. And that something is perspective. It's how we view our situation.
If we are determined to compare our situation now with what we have before, then we will make ourselves miserable and talk ourselves into feeling anger and sadness. The Bible tells us that longing for the 'good old days' is not a wise thing to do:
Do not say, ‘Why were the old days better than these?’ For it is not wise to ask such questions.
Ecclesiastes 7:10 NIVUK
But if we look at where we are now and cheer progress, no matter how small; if we don't despise the day of small beginnings; if we are satisfied with the little we have and are thankful for it, then we will find our mental health will improve and we will be one of the happy people.
And there is still more. Five years after that initial act of worship, after rebuilding had been stalled by the conniving of the Samaritans, the Jewish remnant once more started work in faith and in obedience to God.
How did He respond? "From this day on I will bless you." (Haggai 2: 18-19).
If we cease to be discouraged by the voices of others, and refuse to surrender to our own angry and sad inner voices, and begin rebuilding our lives in faith and obedience, then God will also bless us. Of that I am sure.
Rebuilding your life after a bitter disappointment or the loss of a loved one takes time. It’s made easier if you know the Lord and are surrounded by people who care. If like the Welsh man you are angry bitter and twisted it’s much harder to cope.