But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Matthew 6:33 NIVUK
I grew up a fan of football (soccer if you are American – although my suggestion is that you don’t try kicking one of those balls in just socks). In particular, I was a fan of Glasgow Rangers. One player was very popular.
Ally McCoist.
Not only was he almost a local (born around five miles from my home town), but he was also a bit of a legend.
Now, Ally would absolutely confirm that he was not a technical player. Neither was he particularly athletic or fast. His skill, you see, as to be in the right place at the right time to score goals.
And he scored plenty of goals: 251 in 418 appearances for Rangers, 19 in 61 appearances for Scotland. He was, and still is, a hero for many.
Not bad for someone whose sole skill was being in the right place at the right time.
It never ceases to amaze me how those seeking a life partner don't acquire this skill.
In a previous job, many years ago, I remember hearing my female colleagues moaning about how difficult it was to meet good men. I asked them where they were looking.
They said they were looking in bars. Where people go to consume alcohol. What type of people do you meet most often in bars? Drunk people. Not exactly life partner material.
Or they went to nightclubs. Where people go to enjoy themselves and are focused on having a good time. So what type of people will be there? Hedonists, who value their own pleasure over everything else. Again, not life partner material.
So what about gyms, where people go to get fit. And are also focused on superficial things like diet and muscle tone. Not good life partner material.
Nowadays we have dating algorithms that power apps and websites and agencies. But an algorithm is only as good as the data being fed into it. So if a potential partner lies, you will be fooled. Anyway, many of these apps and sites are frequented by people looking for a ‘good time’ hook-up, not a serious relationship. Not life partner material.
So now I've demolished pretty much everywhere people go to find their life partner. Where, then, will you find them?
Assuming you want to be with a Christian, where do Christians go?
Church.
Youth meetings and gatherings.
Bible studies.
Prayer meetings.
House groups.
Outreaches.
Mission trips.
Christian concerts.
It’s hardly rocket science, is it?
If you want a particular type of person, then it makes sense to be where they can be found.
After all, if you saw a fisherman dragging a huge net down a highway expecting to catch fish, you’d think he was a little crazy, wouldn’t you?
It’s just as crazy to expect to find a great person in places where they don’t hang out.
However, please don’t misunderstand me. I’m not saying we should do these things because we want to meet someone special. I’m saying that if we do these things then we improve our chances of meeting someone special. I’m saying that if we seek the Lord first and do what we can to extend His Kingdom, then He will look after us. If we trust in Him and turn away from the foolish, superficial culture of the world around us then He will give us what we need.
When my colleagues kept complaining about never finding ‘Mister Right’ in bars and nightclubs, I developed a little proverb:
If you hang around swamps, all you’ll ever kiss is frogs.
But if you hang around in the right places...
I met my wife on a missionary ship. Countless other couples met there.
My daughter met her boyfriend in church.
My brother met his future wife while on a missions trip to Bulgaria.
My father met my mother at a Christian youth group.
Four of my team-mates in Romania met their spouses while on mission.
Do you see the trend?
So if you want to find someone nice, make it a habit to be where they are more likely to be.
Commit yourself to the work of the Lord beside other people of your age. If you do, He will look after you and will provide just the person you need.
Questions
1. Why is it important to look for prospective life partners in the place where you’re likely to find them?
2. Why is it important to commit yourself to the work of the Lord while seeking a life partner?
3. How has this changed your approach?
Comments