Rebuild Your Life - Seek Help
- Paul Downie
- May 28
- 19 min read
Nehemiah 1:8-11 NIV
[8] “Remember the instruction you gave your servant Moses, saying, ‘If you are unfaithful, I will scatter you among the nations, [9] but if you return to me and obey my commands, then even if your exiled people are at the farthest horizon, I will gather them from there and bring them to the place I have chosen as a dwelling for my Name.’ [10] “They are your servants and your people, whom you redeemed by your great strength and your mighty hand. [11] Lord, let your ear be attentive to the prayer of this your servant and to the prayer of your servants who delight in revering your name. Give your servant success today by granting him favor in the presence of this man.” I was cupbearer to the king.
Have you ever known someone who is in a difficult situation but completely refuses any help?
My daughter, when she was younger, absolutely refused any parental help with her homework. She wanted to do it herself. I respected that.
Of course, when she was tired and trying to understand something a bit more difficult, it led to some more angsty conversations, but she always got there in the end.
Later, as she got older, I also tried my best to treat her as an adult and let her take responsibility for her life. For example, when she and her friends were preparing their first trip overseas without their parents, I didn’t interfere. I did, however, give them advice on which hotels to book, and snuck a transport map of the place they were visiting onto the computer they were using to book their accommodation.
There are worse situations than that where people have refused help. Much worse, in fact.
The website LocalGov has reported that £23 billion in government benefits goes unclaimed every single year in the UK because people either don’t know about them or choose not to claim it.
Let me get one thing out of the way first: there is not, and neither should there be, any shame in needing help.
I once saw a sign encouraging students with learning difficulties to contact their union. It said something I wholeheartedly agree with: ‘Asking for help is not a sign if weakness, it is a sign of strength’.
Let me illustrate it another way.
When my daughter was small, I hurt my back pretty badly. I was taken to hospital. They injected me with a muscle relaxant, gave me some painkillers and sent me home. I said I would have problems getting home because we lived on the second floor and there was no elevator. So they gave me a pair of crutches.
It might seem a little uncaring, but still least the consultation – and the crutches – were free.
So there was the scenario. I was still in pain. I could hardly walk. Standing was even problematic.
Should I have accepted those crutches?
Of course I should! I needed them! It would be lunacy to pretend that everything was fine. It was not. I needed help. I should accept it.
This is the situation Nehemiah and the people of God were in. They were in a very bad way.
Those who are in exile were in servitude and under immense pressure simply to fit in. Those who were home in the Promise Land were destitute, defenceless and under the harassment of local officials and their natural enemies.
It stands to reason that they could not get out of this alone.
There is every likelihood that we could find ourselves in a similar position: weakened, vulnerable, harassed and dependent on other people. This is not a good situation to be in. It is not okay. We need to admit that to ourselves.
In what he does next, Nehemiah sets a brilliant example in how to get out of it. We would do well to pay close attention to it.
However, in both situations there were elements of risk. There always are when we find ourselves in a situation where help is necessary. That is just a fact.
Nehemiah asks for help from two groups of individuals.
Firstly, from God. No right-thinking Christian would ever disagree with this approach. He prays. He brings his situation before God. This is the right thing to do, both to resolve the situation and to improve his mental health and resilience while doing it. As Paul told the Philippians:
Philippians 4:6-7 NIV
[6] Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. [7] And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
There is a clear and unmistakable link between prayer about our situation and the peace and strength we need to face it:
Isaiah 26:3 NIV
[3] You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.
So we must pray about our situation. We must.
Yet there is also a risk in this – a risk Nehemiah acknowledges. The Jews’ dreadful situation is mostly their own fault, because they have sinned and broken God’s laws. They do not deserve for God to answer their prayers. This is something Nehemiah acknowledged:
Nehemiah 1:6-7 NIV
[6] I confess the sins we Israelites, including myself and my father’s family, have committed against you. [7] We have acted very wickedly toward you. We have not obeyed the commands, decrees and laws you gave your servant Moses.
Nehemiah knows that he and His people would have no rights to God’s help were it not for His grace, which is why he repents. Despite all that would mitigate against him receiving God’s help, Nehemiah seeks it anyway.
Later on in this post, we will see why.
But there is another side to this. Nehemiah doesn’t just seek help from God, he also seeks it from the king:
Nehemiah 1:11 NIV
[11] Lord, let your ear be attentive to the prayer of this your servant and to the prayer of your servants who delight in revering your name. Give your servant success today by granting him favor in the presence of this man.” I was cupbearer to the king.
He sought God’s help so he could receive the king’s help. He soughtheavenly power to help him with an earthly power.
The same principle is actually expounded in the New Testament by none other than Jesus:
Mark 13:11 NIV
[11] Whenever you are arrested and brought to trial, do not worry beforehand about what to say. Just say whatever is given you at the time, for it is not you speaking, but the Holy Spirit.
Luke 12:11-12 NIV
[11] “When you are brought before synagogues, rulers and authorities, do not worry about how you will defend yourselves or what you will say, [12] for the Holy Spirit will teach you at that time what you should say.”
Yes, in these cases the situation is different. God’s people were being persecuted and needed guidance as to how God would have them navigate the perilous waters of hatred. But the principle behind it is the same: seek earthly help, but with heavenly guidance.
Both are needed.
You see, there are very many Christians who rely on God to do the miraculous, but can’t see Him working in the everyday. They are like the apocryphal tale of the shipwrecked man, drowning at sea. He prayed to God to help him.
A passing vessel wanted to throw him a life preserver, but he refused, ‘I don’t need your help. God will save me.’ he shouted back at them.
A coastguard patrol risked life and limb to approach him and offer to take him into their boat. He refused. ‘I don’t need your help. God will save me.’ he shouted back at them.
A navy helicopter hovered over his head. An officer dangled off a rope ladder and held out a harness to him. He refused. ‘I don’t need your help. God will save me.’ he shouted back.
The man died.
In heaven, he approached God and asked Him, ‘Why didn’t you save me?’
‘I sent you a boat, the coastguard and the navy. What more did you want?’ God replied.
That little joke contains more than a grain of truth in it. I have heard of Christians who won’t attend medical clinics, get vaccinations, allow certain surgeries to be performed, take medication or accept counselling in the utterly misguided view that, since God is their salvation, they don’t need human treatment.
Nonsense!
God has gifted people with exactly what you need to ease or even get out of your situation.
It is sheer folly to not ask for help and accept it – even from other people.
Read through the whole book of Nehemiah and you will find not one miracle: no dead are raised, no sick are cured, no demons are cast out. The city walls do not build themselves.
Why?
Because this is a book about how God used a man to rebuild a nation, and how he did it through others.
Nehemiah is a book about obedience, hard work and wisdom, not miraculous Divine intervention.
And for God’s people to rise up, help was needed from a pagan king.
There is a key lesson here for us all. If we are in a tough situation and God has provided a way out of it in keeping with His character, we should take it.
But before we look in detail about what happened during Nehemiah's important meeting with the king, we should look at his important meeting with the true King of Kings.
Nehemiah makes his appeal to God on the basis of three foundations. These foundations are the same basis of our appeal when we ask God to intervene to help us.
The first of these is an appeal to God to Remember Your Promise.
Remember Your Promise
Nehemiah 1:8-9 NIV
[8] “Remember the instruction you gave your servant Moses, saying, ‘If you are unfaithful, I will scatter you among the nations, [9] but if you return to me and obey my commands, then even if your exiled people are at the farthest horizon, I will gather them from there and bring them to the place I have chosen as a dwelling for my Name.’
This promise is a very important one. It’s actually based on Jewish law, in the book of Deuteronomy:
Deuteronomy 30:1-6 NIV
[1] When all these blessings and curses I have set before you come on you and you take them to heart wherever the Lord your God disperses you among the nations, [2] and when you and your children return to the Lord your God and obey him with all your heart and with all your soul according to everything I command you today, [3] then the Lord your God will restore your fortunes and have compassion on you and gather you again from all the nations where he scattered you. [4] Even if you have been banished to the most distant land under the heavens, from there the Lord your God will gather you and bring you back. [5] He will bring you to the land that belonged to your ancestors, and you will take possession of it. He will make you more prosperous and numerous than your ancestors. [6] The Lord your God will circumcise your hearts and the hearts of your descendants, so that you may love him with all your heart and with all your soul, and live.
What Nehemiah is doing is essentially treating this promise like a cheque or an IOU that he’s looking to cash in. He’s effectively saying, ‘God, I know we disobeyed you. But we’re repenting from that disobedience now. You said you'd restore us if we did that. Do you remember? Please honour your promise.’
That might sounds a little brazen, but it is something God actually encourages, even in the Old Testament:
2 Chronicles 7:13-14 NIV
[13] “When I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or command locusts to devour the land or send a plague among my people, [14] if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.
Joel 2:12-13 NIV
[12] “Even now,” declares the Lord, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning.” [13] Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity.
We are also encouraged to do this. Under the New Covenant we should still seek God and ask Him to fulfil His promises, such as:
Matthew 6:33 NIV
[33] But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Romans 8:28 NIV
[28] And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Philippians 4:19 NIV
[19] And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.
Our side of the bargain is all too clear:
2 Corinthians 7:1 NIV
[1] Therefore, since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.
But we should build our lives on the reality that God will keep His.
A promise is an extension of someone’s character. The more faith we have in their integrity, the more we are willing to entrust ourselves to their promises.
God’s character is impeccable. It is perfect. That’s why we see this verse:
2 Corinthians 1:20 NIV
[20] For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God.
In other words, every promise God has made He will keep, and Jesus Christ is the evidence of this. So when we are down and struggling, instead of raising our fists to God in anger, we should raise His promises to Him in prayer, reminding Him, and ourselves in the process, that He is a promise-keeping God who always works for our good in every situation.
Apart from Nehemiah’s appeal to God to remember His promise, we also see Nehemiah reminding God to Remember Your People.
Remember Your People
Nehemiah 1:10 NIV
[10] “They are your servants and your people, whom you redeemed by your great strength and your mighty hand.
We have crossed many borders and been through many passports controls. Before my wife became a UK citizen, I would stand with her in the ‘Other Passports’ line at London Heathrow airport and wait on an immigration officer clearing all of us for entry. Staff monitoring the queue would often look at me a little funny, wondering why this British passport holder was in the ‘Other Passports’ line, as if I had forgotten who I was. But this was Heathrow Airport. There was no way I would let my wife face UK immigration on her own.
Associating with people who are treated differently can be a difficult business. More often than not, activists associating themselves to downtrodden tribes and people groups have found themselves receiving the same treatment.
What we see here is Nehemiah calling on God to associate Himself with His people once more.
You see, shortly before the exile, their conduct had been so horrifically evil, that this was the Lord’s verdict on them:
Amos 2:4-5 NIV
[4] This is what the Lord says: “For three sins of Judah, even for four, I will not relent. Because they have rejected the law of the Lord and have not kept his decrees, because they have been led astray by false gods, the gods their ancestors followed, [5] I will send fire on Judah that will consume the fortresses of Jerusalem.”
Because of their heinous sin, they lost their status as the people of God (Hosea 1:8-9).
And yet, in an act of grace-filled compassion, God did this:
Hosea 2:23 NIV
[23] I will plant her for myself in the land; I will show my love to the one I called ‘Not my loved one.’ I will say to those called ‘Not my people,’ ‘You are my people’; and they will say, ‘You are my God.’ ”
God restored them.
And now Nehemiah is basing his plea for God to intervene and help his people on the fact that the Jews are God’s people – despite all they had done.
This is a beautiful thing.
We too, no matter who we are, hold this status if we follow Jesus:
John 1:12-13 NIV
[12] Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— [13] children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.
Romans 8:15-16 NIV
[15] The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” [16] The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.
1 John 3:1 NIV
[1] See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!
Most of us are not Jews, yet thanks to Jesus Christ as stand on the same solid ground as children of God, followers of His Son and bearers of His Name. In Christ, through Christ and because of Christ we gave the same standing as Christ and can equally pray to ask God to intervene and change our situation.
We stand beside Nehemiah. And that is a wonderful place to stand.
But as well as appealing to God to remember His promise and His people, Nehemiah also asks God to Remember Your Servant.
Remember Your Servant
Nehemiah 1:11 NIV
[11] Lord, let your ear be attentive to the prayer of this your servant and to the prayer of your servants who delight in revering your name. Give your servant success today by granting him favor in the presence of this man.” I was cupbearer to the king.
This is a very interesting request.
Firstly, who is praying, because humanly speaking, Nehemiah was a servant to a pagan king. He served his wants and his needs. Yet Nehemiah did not see himself as merely a servant to a pagan king. First and foremost he saw himself as God’s servant.
The Jews in exile, particularly those who’d previously held a dignified position, had been reduced to being vassals of a pagan nation. But Nehemiah did not see them as being little more than vassals. He saw them as servants of God.
In these few lines, Nehemiah is reclaiming their identity, their distinctiveness, their sense who they are.
And that is a bold step.
In a culture that reinforced assimilation (see Daniel 1 for a good example), asserting yourself as fundamentally separate, distinct and different could have a dangerous outcome – as Mordecai and Esther discovered (Esther 3:8-11). But Nehemiah here asserts his fundamental loyalty, first before all others, as a servant of God.
Secondly, because of what he is praying for. He is asking for God to intervene when he approaches a human king for help. He is not asking God to send angels to build the walls, or to blight his enemies with illness, or to cause the rubble to miraculously be reformed.
No, what Nehemiah wants is something more simple and mundane: favour from the king.
Now, that might seem like something quite mundane and ordinary, but not when you read this:
Esther 4:11 NIV
[11] “All the king’s officials and the people of the royal provinces know that for any man or woman who approaches the king in the inner court without being summoned the king has but one law: that they be put to death unless the king extends the gold scepter to them and spares their lives. But thirty days have passed since I was called to go to the king.”
The king these words were spoken about was Xerxes, the father of the king Nehemiah served (Artaxerxes). The traditions outlined in this verse were likely unchanged. The person speaking these words was not other than Xerxes' Jewish wife, Esther. Persian kings could be highly capricious. The wrong word spoken or the wrong gesture could see you jailed or even killed.
If even the queen herself had to endure this situation, imagine what it would be like for a lowly cupbearer such as Nehemiah.
This prayer was not asking a small thing from God. The answer to this prayer could have profound implications, not just for the Jewish people, but for Nehemiah himself.
As I said earlier, Nehemiah saw himself as a servant firstly of God, secondly of the king, so he seeks God’s favour first and then the king’s. Neither is excluded by the other. Both are necessary.
This situation is not at all trivial. When we are struggling, we often have to face intimidating human authorities, such as: police, courts, judges, medical professionals, housing authorities, debt administrators, banks, immigration officials, social workers, local officials and many more. These meetings might seem inconsequential to others, but to us they absolutely are not. These people seem to hold our fate in their hands. That is what scares us: they appear to be in control; we are not.
What Nehemiah teaches us here us that this is absolutely not the case. God is sovereign. He is in control. We serve Him firstly. We can, and absolutely should, bring such meetings before God in prayer. Of course we should.
But we, like Nehemiah, should not at all be afraid to reach out for help from human authorities. If God, in His mercy, has made help available to us in the form of medical or psychological practitioners, counsellors, government grants and aid and so forth, then it makes no sense whatsoever not to use it. These things can help us become stronger so we can stand once more on our own two feet. Not using them is like a builder working on a tumbledown house not using scaffolding, or a someone with a broken leg not using a crutch.
It makes no sense. None whatsoever.
So if you are down and need help, it’s time to set aside your pride and admit it. Help is there. It’s there from God. It may be there from people.
Don’t be afraid to ask for it.
Conclusion
Nehemiah 1:8-11 NIV
[8] “Remember the instruction you gave your servant Moses, saying, ‘If you are unfaithful, I will scatter you among the nations, [9] but if you return to me and obey my commands, then even if your exiled people are at the farthest horizon, I will gather them from there and bring them to the place I have chosen as a dwelling for my Name.’ [10] “They are your servants and your people, whom you redeemed by your great strength and your mighty hand. [11] Lord, let your ear be attentive to the prayer of this your servant and to the prayer of your servants who delight in revering your name. Give your servant success today by granting him favor in the presence of this man.” I was cupbearer to the king.
I will never forget the time my wife and I were working on her application for an extension to her spouse visa. We could manage the form. We had all the supporting documents. On paper, we had everything we needed.
But there was a problem.
Due to a decision we had made to stay in the Philippines to allow her to spend time with her friends and family before we left, we were a few weeks short of the allotted time.
We did what anyone would do. We sought advice. We called the Immigration department in London. They gave us advice: we would need two visas, not one. Everything we read online said the same. Visas were expensive then. They were even more expensive now. We were dreading having to pay twice.
We prayed.
Then we came up with an idea. We found the direct number for the office that would process our application. We would need to call them anyway to set up our appointment. I called them, asked to set up an appointment but explained our predicament.
‘Don’t worry about that, sir. We’ll sort that out here. Just set up the appointment.’ I was told.
So I did.
When we walked into that Immigration office, other people were arriving with huge files and immigration lawyers. We couldn’t afford that. We had our file and ourselves – no legal counsel.
Our name was called. We handed over our form, my wife’s passport and our file.
We prayed.
Three minutes later, we got the decision: her visa had been extended.
Our prayers had been answered.
I know what it means to be in a position where a human authority seems to be in charge of your life.
It isn’t a nice feeling at all.
Many of us distrust faceless organisations or capricious governments. We have good reason why.
So when we need them for one thing or another, that sense of not being in control can be very jarring.
But it is also a stark reminder of one of life’s harsh realities: we are never control. Not of anything. Ever.
But God is.
And that is why, before he takes his life into his hands and appeals to the king, Nehemiah first takes his case to God. He does so on the basis of a threefold plea: for God to remember His promises to rescue His people, to remember that they are His people and reflect His glory into a watching world, and that Nehemiah himself is God’s servant.
There is also a hint at a common approach with Queen Esther a generation earlier. Contrast the two verses below:
Esther 4:15-16 NIV
[15] Then Esther sent this reply to Mordecai: [16] “Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my attendants will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish.”
Nehemiah 1:11 NIV
[11] Lord, let your ear be attentive to the prayer of this your servant and to the prayer of your servants who delight in revering your name. Give your servant success today by granting him favor in the presence of this man.” I was cupbearer to the king.
Both books record their main characters as entering the king’s presence alone, but standing with them were groups of people praying, fasting and seeking the Lord’s face, bearing in mind the risks and rewards that their approach could bring.
When we find ourselves needed help from an outside, and potentially hostile, organisation, there is nothing wrong – and, in fact, there us everything right – with asking other people to pray for us as we do so.
I want you to imagine that you are sitting in your chair reading these notes when you decide to get up to get yourself a drink from your kitchen. What would happen if one of your arms decided that it didn’t need the body and could do it on it’s own? Would it succeed?
No, of course not! It would also cause you considerable pain in the process.
God has placed us in a body (1 Corinthians 12:12-14, 20, 27).
Have you ever asked why?
It’s so we can help each other:
1 Corinthians 12:26-27 NIV
[26] If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. [27] Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.
Our strength makes up for someone else’s weakness; their weakness makes up for our strength. That’s how a body functions.
That’s why it makes no sense to try to make it through life on our own and on our own terms.
That’s simply not how we were designed.
Nehemiah was not a lone wolf. Far from it. He was not ashamed to have other people stand with him in prayer. He was not ashamed to go to God first for help, in the assurance that God would hear him and help him.
But he was also not ashamed to seek the help of a human authority that could help his people.
Many of us live in countries which God has blessed with good health and social care systems, financial support and a strong NGO sector. If we don’t leverage that to lift ourselves out of the situation we are in then we are both ungrateful and foolish. The only restriction is if they ask us to fundamentally compromise our Christian faith, but for most organisations helping those in bad situations, that isn’t even an issue.
Is your situation bad? Are you struggling?
Seek help: from God, from His people, from anyone who can help you. Don’t allow foolish pride to stand in your way.
After all, next time it could be your turn to help someone else.
Prayer
Lord Jesus, seeing Nehemiah’s approach challenges me. Thank You for all the services I can use to recover from the situation I am in. Give me wisdom to use them well, I pray. Amen.
Questions
Nehemiah sought help from three sources to get his people out of their bad situation. Who were they? What can we learn from this?
Why was it so intimidating for Nehemiah to approach the king for help?
Are there organisations that can help you get out of your situation? What stops you from approaching them?
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