Rebuild Your Life - Examine Your Weakness
- Paul Downie
- Jun 11
- 21 min read
Nehemiah 2:11-16 NIV
[11] I went to Jerusalem, and after staying there three days [12] I set out during the night with a few others. I had not told anyone what my God had put in my heart to do for Jerusalem. There were no mounts with me except the one I was riding on. [13] By night I went out through the Valley Gate toward the Jackal Well and the Dung Gate, examining the walls of Jerusalem, which had been broken down, and its gates, which had been destroyed by fire. [14] Then I moved on toward the Fountain Gate and the King’s Pool, but there was not enough room for my mount to get through; [15] so I went up the valley by night, examining the wall. Finally, I turned back and reentered through the Valley Gate. [16] The officials did not know where I had gone or what I was doing, because as yet I had said nothing to the Jews or the priests or nobles or officials or any others who would be doing the work.
In the 1990s and early 2000s, there was a type of TV drama that was very popular, both in the UK and the US: forensic crime dramas.
In these dramas, the focus was not just on the genius but troubled police or private investigators who would work to solve a crime, but the forensic pathologists and scientists who would examine the tiniest evidence from the crime scene and use it to build a picture of what happened and who did it. While these were never for the faint hearted, with their examinations of internal organs and stomach contents and blood splatter patterns, they shed light on a crucial group of people whose job many of us could not do.
I, for one, would not want to spend a lot of time around corpses and human remains, and then have to explain to bereaved relatives how their beloved was taken from them too soon.
It takes a very special person to do a job like that.
I don’t mind admitting that I am not that person.
However, there is a time and a place for us to get a little ‘forensic’ about the situation we are in.
Now, I don’t pretend for one second that this is easy. It can be very unsettling for us to stare deeply into the damage our actions have caused, or to see where the weaknesses lay that caused them
However, just as forensics are very important for most criminal investigations, knowing what happened and where the damage lies is very important for us to be able to repair it, even though examining it will prove to be very painful.
This unusual passage has four parts to it that we will explore together.
The first of these is The Silence.
The Silence
Nehemiah 2:11-12 NIV
[11] I went to Jerusalem, and after staying there three days [12] I set out during the night with a few others. I had not told anyone what my God had put in my heart to do for Jerusalem. There were no mounts with me except the one I was riding on.
These verses show the brilliant wisdom and sensitivity that Nehemiah displayed, right from the very beginning. His approach here is quite special.
Why?
Because he knew the situation in Jerusalem was bad. His own brother had told him as much (Nehemiah 1:1-3).
But he had to see the situation for himself.
I myself have known the challenge this approach can cause. In the early 1990s, our TV news and newspapers were filled with coverage of the horrors in Romanian orphanages, where children who had been abandoned, often for the most spurious of reasons, were subjected to awful and criminal levels of neglect. The news was unmissable and deeply upsetting.
In 1996, I saw it for myself.
Let me tell you, seeing it on a news broadcast or in a newspaper is one thing; seeing something like this up close and in person is quite another.
So I admire Nehemiah for having the courage to travel for fifteen days and then survey the damaged city walls.
But there is another interesting aspect to this: he did it at night.
At first glance, that doesn’t seem to be very sensible. After all, let’s say there is a storm coming and you realise you have a hole on your roof. Would you hire a roofer, but ask him to carry out the repair at midnight do the neighbours didn’t see it?
No! You’d want him up there during daylight, so he could see what he’s doing and be sure to repair the leak.
So why did Nehemiah survey the walls at night time?
I believe he did it for two reasons.
Firstly, to manage expectation. Nehemiah was, after all, relatively new to Jerusalem, he had papers identifying him as an emissary of the king (Nehemiah 2:7 and 9). After a hundred and thirty years of defencelessness, you can imagine that the Jews of Jerusalem would latch on to any hope that their city would get stronger.
Nehemiah was not yet ready to ‘go public’ with his initiative to rebuild the walls . Not without seeing it for himself first. Not without a plan.
So it made sense to do this at night.
Secondly, to manage opposition.
Nehemiah was clear from his arrival in Jerusalem that not everyone was in favour of his mission, as we saw from my last post on Nehemiah 2:10. Viewing at night time was a good idea as it would allow him to survey the ruins without their knowledge or interference.
He did all this without telling anyone of his intentions to repair the wall.
That was a very wise decision.
When we find ourselves needing to repair a life that has gone astray and is in a mess, we might be tempted to tell people loudly and proudly about how we’re going to put it right. However, to put something right, we need to know where it has gone wrong. What Nehemiah is doing here is looking through the ruins to see what is broken, what can be fixed and what is beyond repair. He is surveying the enormous tactical weakness of the city and seeing what can be done to resolve it.
We would be wise to do the same in our lives.
But from where can we get the information to help us fix our lives?
David knows:
Psalms 139:1-6, 23-24 NIV
[1] You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. [2] You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. [3] You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. [4] Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. [5] You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. [6] Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
[23] Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. [24] See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Only God has numbered the very hairs on our head (Matthew 10:30; Luke 12:7). Only God knitted us together in our mother’s womb (Psalm 139:15-16). Only God knows the end from the beginning (Revelation 22:13).
Who else should we turn to?
Yes, there is some value in wise counsellors and accountability partners and therapists. They can give us another perspective that we lack. They have their place and can be useful.
But primarily, if our life feels like it is an unmitigated disaster, a total mess, a car crash, then only God can give us both the complete and the detailed picture of who we are, where we went wrong, and how we can fix it.
Neither do I believe that this is one of those issues where a corporate or small group prayer meeting can help. Due to the deeply private and personal nature of the issues involved, I believe that this is something to be solved in the quiet place, alone with God, away from grandstanding or interruptions, as Jesus commanded (Matthew 6:5-8).
This is an issue that can only be solved in the secret place.
This is an issue that can only be resolved in the silence.
It may be resolved in minutes. It take days, weeks, months or even years.
The important thing is that we come to God, in openness and transparency and integrity, bear before Him the mess we are in, ask Him for His help and commit ourselves to obeying whatever He says to fix it.
That is when recovery truly begins.
After the silence, we see three specific features of Jerusalem that Nehemiah surveyed.
The first of these us, of course, The Walls.
The Walls
Nehemiah 2:13 NIV
[13] By night I went out through the Valley Gate toward the Jackal Well and the Dung Gate, examining the walls of Jerusalem, which had been broken down, and its gates, which had been destroyed by fire.
There are ancient walled cities dotted all across Europe. There ere many where the walls are still intact – and some, like Dubrovnik, that are strong enough for you to actually walk along them.
Walled cities were a feature of the ancient and medieval worlds. They were important. The walls delineate territory. They determined what was inside and outside. They also provided a strongly defensible position for anyone defending the city.
They held a vital function.
The famous battle of Jericho was all about the walls. Its walls were thought to be at least four metres tall, and in Joshua’s day were believed to be impregnable.
Not until God had something to say about it, of course (Joshua 6).
In his final address before he died, Pope Francis called for the barriers that divide people to come down. I am not a Catholic, but I agree with that.
However, there us a different kind of barrier that must go up, not come down. That barrier is the barrier against sin. That wall is the wall of morality, the wall of personal righteousness.
When we are devastated by sin – our own sin and that of other people – the wall of morality crumbles. We are prepared to consider doing things that God abhors, that maybe we didn’t think of before, because we believe that the end justifies the means.
But now you believe in Jesus and your life is being restored, you cannot live that way anymore:
Ephesians 4:17-24 NIV
[17] So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. [18] They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. [19] Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed. [20] That, however, is not the way of life you learned [21] when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. [22] You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; [23] to be made new in the attitude of your minds; [24] and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
To use another metaphor, you are now drawing the line in a new place. You have a new sense of right and wrong: things that seemed right are now wrong; things that seemed wrong are now right.
Everything is new. Everything has started again.
For a wall to be effective, as Nehemiah would know, it has to be firstly in the right place.
We paid a man to build a fence around our garden. However, he made a mistake: he forgot to check the property lines first. As a result, the fence strays around half a metre into our neighbours’ property.
Paul’s teaching in Ephesians was about restoring the moral wall separating right and wrong to the correct place, to make it truly effective.
A wall must also be of the right strength. A wall made of bricks or stones is useful; a wall made of lemonade or jelly is not.
There is little point in saying that you have resolved not to do a certain sin, and then a few minutes doing the very thing you had resolved not to do. That shows that you had no resolve; that your wall isn’t strong.
Nehemiah spent much of his ministry rebuilding not the physical wall, but the moral wall, in Jerusalem. Notice how he restored social justice towards the poor (Nehemiah 5) as commanded in the Law (Deuteronomy 15:7-8). And how he, with Ezra, was one of the driving forces behind a revival of obedience to the Law (Nehemiah 9 and 10). Notice how, on his return to Jerusalem, he put right issues with mixed marriage (Nehemiah 13:1-5), the neglect of Temple ministry (Nehemiah 13:10-13) and obedience to the Sabbath laws (Nehemiah 13:15-22).
These were all matters of obedience. They were Jerusalem’s moral wall.
And there is a very real sense in which this moral wall was more important than the physical wall.
So we see, then, that it was vital for Nehemiah to rebuild the wall, and that, in the same way, it’s vitally important to rebuild our wall and to establish again our sense of right and wrong, our moral fibre, our conscience.
Nehemiah also showed a keen interest in The Gates.
The Gates
Nehemiah 2:13-15 NIV
[13] By night I went out through the Valley Gate toward the Jackal Well and the Dung Gate, examining the walls of Jerusalem, which had been broken down, and its gates, which had been destroyed by fire. [14] Then I moved on toward the Fountain Gate and the King’s Pool, but there was not enough room for my mount to get through; [15] so I went up the valley by night, examining the wall. Finally, I turned back and reentered through the Valley Gate.
If you are passing through the countryside in the UK, you need to be very careful to close gates behind you, specifically those leading to fields of cows or sheep. Neither are bright enough to perceive dangers. If they see nice grass in a precarious place, they won’t care: they will head for it. Whether it’s next to a road or a bridge or a fast-flowing river will not matter to them. They will go anyway.
Gates have always been very useful devices. Jesus described Himself as a gate:
John 10:7-9 NIV
[7] Therefore Jesus said again, “Very truly I tell you, I am the gate for the sheep. [8] All who have come before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep have not listened to them. [9] I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out, and find pasture.
This is thought to refer to the ancient custom of shepherds taking sheep to remote sheep pens and then lying down across the entrance to stop predators getting in and sheep getting out.
But what Nehemiah is describing is very much more than that.
These are city gates.
City gates were used, yes, to regulate traffic flow into and put of the city: to allow people with legitimate business to enter, but to keep out undesirables.
But they had another function: that of commerce.
The deal that led to Ruth becoming Boaz’s wife was agreed in a gateway (Ruth 4:1).
Solomon spoke of many children helping people to content with their opponents in the city gate (Psalm 127:5).
Gates therefore speak of three aspects of which we must all be aware: what comes in, what goes out and how we interact with others.
What goes in is pretty clear. Christians have known about it for ages:
Psalms 1:1-2 NIV
[1] Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, [2] but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night.
We all know that we should watch our spiritual diet carefully and be careful of the things we expose ourselves to, particularly those that have a detrimental effect.
Nowadays, there is a fashion for confessional singer-songwriters who ‘sing my truth’ – people we can closely identity with. I get it. I really do. When I was growing up, I was from a working class family in a poor neighbourhood, so I closely identified with songwriters such as Bruce Springsteen and bands like Deacon Blue and classic rock albums like Bon Jovi's ‘Slippery When Wet’ and Pearl Jam’s ‘Ten’. I was a little unfortunate with the ladies, so local Glaswegian favourites Del Amitri were constantly played on my Walkman.
While it’s validating to hear music like this because we perceive that other people feel how we feel and we feel less alone as a result, at the same time, if we listen to this type of music all the time, it can depress us. It can have a detrimental effect on our mental health.
So of course we must take care of the things we allow to come into our lives and have an influence on us. No-one can possibly disagree with that.
But we must also take care of What comes out, as Jesus explained:
Matthew 15:17-20 NIV
[17] “Don’t you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? [18] But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. [19] For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. [20] These are what defile a person; but eating with unwashed hands does not defile them.”
The Pharisees were fanatical about food rules and about their hands being clean. To a degree, we can understand it.
But they were much less fanatical about what came out from their mouths: anger, filthy language, curses, like, gossip and slander.
This is what Jesus said about them:
Matthew 23:24 NIV
[24] You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel.
It’s telling that in the pastoral letters, and indeed most of the New Testament, more emphasis is put on what comes out of us than that comes into us. Christendom hasn’t always been that way. I have met people who are absolutely fanatical about what music we should or shouldn’t listen to, what movies we should or shouldn’t watch, which TV channels and shows we should or shouldn’t spend our time on. And I get it. I really do.
But they also forget this:
Colossians 2:20-23 NIV
[20] Since you died with Christ to the elemental spiritual forces of this world, why, as though you still belonged to the world, do you submit to its rules: [21] “Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!”? [22] These rules, which have to do with things that are all destined to perish with use, are based on merely human commands and teachings. [23] Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence.
Because, you see, what comes out of us matters too. We must take care of that with at least the same fanaticism, if not more, because it matters more.
As well as what goes in and what comes out, ancient gates were also about How we relate.
How we relate to everyone ought to be governed by the simple Biblical principle I have espoused in repeated posts this year: that of loving God, our neighbours and ourselves:
Matthew 22:34-40 NIV
[34] Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. [35] One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: [36] “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” [37] Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ [38] This is the first and greatest commandment. [39] And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ [40] All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
There is no higher commandment than this. There is no greater commandment than this. Obey it, and we obey the whole law. Disobey it, and we disobey the whole law.
It’s that simple.
Matthew 7:12 NIV
[12] So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.
The way we treat other people is the only proof anyone should need that we are Christians. Let that challenging truth sink in.
John 13:34-35 NIV
[34] “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. [35] By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
For our lives to be fully rebuilt in the image of Jesus Christ, we must love. There is no other option.
Have you ever seen the neon advertising boards in places Luke Piccadilly Circus or Times Square? They are quite dazzling. The bright billboards advertising who knows what are at almost overwhelming. They demand your attention.
Have you ever thought of yourself as a walking billboard for God, or an advertisement for the Gospel?
It’s true.
People see the message of the Gospel and decide whether or not to believe not just on the logical soundness of the argument, but the spiritual soundness of its proponents. They see who God is and what He is like in and through us.
The question is: what kind of advert are we for the Gospel? What kind of billboard are we for God?
That is why it is essential that we seek to rebuild the gates of our life: the things we allow in, the things we allow out and the way we relate to others.
There is one last feature of Jerusalem that Nehemiah didn’t need to rebuild, but was just as important as its walls and gates: it’s pools.
The Pools
Nehemiah 2:13-15 NIV
[13] By night I went out through the Valley Gate toward the Jackal Well and the Dung Gate, examining the walls of Jerusalem, which had been broken down, and its gates, which had been destroyed by fire. [14] Then I moved on toward the Fountain Gate and the King’s Pool, but there was not enough room for my mount to get through; [15] so I went up the valley by night, examining the wall. Finally, I turned back and reentered through the Valley Gate.
Now, before we get carried away with modern facilities, these were not swimming pools. Nehemiah wasn’t looking for somewhere to do a few laps before sleeping.
They were actually much more important than that.
Jerusalem, like all ancient cities, had a water source, but unlike many cities, it was not built near a river. Instead, Jerusalem took its water supply from the Gihon Spring. Water was then channelled from the spring into the city, where it was collected into pools. These pools were used for water storage, ritual bathing and even for healing.
This meant that these pools were incredibly significant. They sustained the city, especially in times of drought or siege.
That water supply and its pools are a beautiful picture of what God does for His people:
Psalms 54:4 NIV
[4] Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me.
Psalms 51:2, 7 NIV
[2] Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.
[7] Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
Psalms 103:1-3 NIV
[1] Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. [2] Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits— [3] who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases.
But this should cause us to ask some burning questions of ourselves:
When we endure hardship or struggle, who do we trust to sustain us?
When we are stressed, what do we reach for first: a glass of wine or a bottle of beer? Our favourite TV show? A games console? A good book?
Or is it God?
The way back from damage caused by sin can only be found when we trust God to sustain us, first and foremost, and none of these things, or any other.
That is what Nehemiah and the people of Israel had to discover.
Conclusion
Jeremiah 2:12-13 NIV
[12] Be appalled at this, you heavens, and shudder with great horror,” declares the Lord. [13] “My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water.
Nehemiah 2:17 NIV
[17] Then I said to them, “You see the trouble we are in: Jerusalem lies in ruins, and its gates have been burned with fire. Come, let us rebuild the wall of Jerusalem, and we will no longer be in disgrace.”
I have admired the resilience of the Filipino people for a very long time. Every year, their stunningly beautiful nation is criss-crossed by storms so powerful that they would give better developed nations nightmares. They don’t have a comprehensive compensation or insurance system. The government helps to a degree, but mostly Filipinos who are struck by severe typhoons have to lean on NGOs to help them out a little and get themselves back on their own two feet. It always astonishes me to see cities and villages just a few years after a giant typhoon has almost flattened them, but now they look like nothing at all took place.
They stare disaster in the face, brush themselves down, learn from it and rebuild.
There is little doubt that Jerusalem was in an awful state, and had been for a hundred and thirty years. A mixture of political, physical and spiritual issues had left their entire city as virtually defenceless.
To rebuild what remained of the city walls, someone was required to do a very difficult, very emotionally draining but completely necessary job:
They needed to survey the remains of the wall.
Nehemiah had been broken by just hearing about the damage; seeing it face to face would have been much harder.
Yet this man had the courage to do just that. He had the courage to view the wreckage, and not just to mourn it, but to see the potential to turn it around.
How he goes about this is highly consequential for the rest of the book, and for his rebuilding plan.
Firstly, we see silence. His survey was done at night, away from prying eyes, so as not to raise either expectation or opposition. A limited number of people knew about it. This taught us about the necessity to survey our difficult position before God first.
Secondly, we saw the walls, which taught us how we need to re-establish our moral boundaries, our sense of right and wrong, no matter how they have shifted or become weak.
Thirdly, we saw the gates, and how they taught us about how we should restore our sense of what we should allow into our lives, what we should allow to go out from them, and how we should change how we relate to people who are part of our lives.
Lastly, we saw the pools, and how they taught us to find our sustenance in God and not in anyone else. This had been the Jews’ biggest mistake before the exile; putting it right then, a hundred and thirty years later, was a critical step.
If this sounds hard, that’s because it is. Of course it is! Nehemiah was trying to turn around over a century of neglect. Who knows how many years of neglect we need to turn around in our life?
When the battle is as hard as this, and the process seems to be taking far too long, we often forget what we are aiming towards.
So let me tell you
Zechariah 2:3-5 NIV
[3] While the angel who was speaking to me was leaving, another angel came to meet him [4] and said to him: “Run, tell that young man, ‘Jerusalem will be a city without walls because of the great number of people and animals in it. [5] And I myself will be a wall of fire around it,’ declares the Lord, ‘and I will be its glory within.’
A city without walls, bursting with life. That is how Zechariah saw Jerusalem. Given at the time he saw this vision Jerusalem was a complete ruin, for many that would have seemed too much of a stretch of the imagination.
Yet it has come true.
The city’s expansion beyond its ancient walls began in the 1800s and continues apace. The character of the city is entirely different to the way it was before.
Zechariah’s prophecy might have seemed far-fetched back then, but it was fulfilled.
Much later, John saw a different vision of a heavenly Jerusalem, a new Jerusalem.
Revelation 21:12-14 NIV
[12] It had a great, high wall with twelve gates, and with twelve angels at the gates. On the gates were written the names of the twelve tribes of Israel. [13] There were three gates on the east, three on the north, three on the south and three on the west. [14] The wall of the city had twelve foundations, and on them were the names of the twelve apostles of the Lamb.
John saw a city that directed people to come in, go out and transact business with each other in gateways that were named after the twelve tribes of Israel, commemorating Jewish heritage, but also founded on the apostles’ names. This latter part of his vision shows lives that are build on obedience to the apostolic teaching and apostolic Gospel.
What’s more, they are the only ways into the city. They are the only ways to get past the wall.
We also see this amazing vision in Ezekiel:
Ezekiel 47:1-2, 8, 12 NIV
[1] The man brought me back to the entrance to the temple, and I saw water coming out from under the threshold of the temple toward the east (for the temple faced east). The water was coming down from under the south side of the temple, south of the altar. [2] He then brought me out through the north gate and led me around the outside to the outer gate facing east, and the water was trickling from the south side.
[8] He said to me, “This water flows toward the eastern region and goes down into the Arabah, where it enters the Dead Sea. When it empties into the sea, the salty water there becomes fresh.
[12] Fruit trees of all kinds will grow on both banks of the river. Their leaves will not wither, nor will their fruit fail. Every month they will bear fruit, because the water from the sanctuary flows to them. Their fruit will serve for food and their leaves for healing.”
This is echoed in Revelation:
Revelation 22:1-2 NIV
[1] Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb [2] down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations.
These glorious pictures to me represent the Gospel message, flowing out from worship of the One True God, changing lives, bringing sustenance, bringing healing to the world.
Right now in your life, as you survey the ruins of a life that has been decimated by sin – your own sin or other people’s – you might only see a shocking wasteland.
But God sees otherwise.
When you take the decision to stand with Him and work with Him to rebuild your shattered life, He is able to transform your ruins into something so glorious that He can use it to touch, change and heal the world.
Nehemiah saw those ruins. He saw them clearly. I have no doubt that they upset him. But even after seeing the ruins all around the city of Jerusalem, he said these words:
Nehemiah 2:17 NIV
[17] Then I said to them, “You see the trouble we are in: Jerusalem lies in ruins, and its gates have been burned with fire. Come, let us rebuild the wall of Jerusalem, and we will no longer be in disgrace.”
‘Come, let us rebuild...’.
Isn’t it time you began to rebuild your life?
Prayer
Lord Jesus, reviewing where I went wrong is a painful process, but I know I must do it to understand where I need to repent. Lead me and guide me, I pray. Show me where I need to change, even though it will be hard for me to hear it. Amen.
Questions
What decisions between right and wrong have you got wrong? How can you put that right?
What things have you allowed to have an influence over your life that should not be there? What behaviours and attitudes towards other people have not been right? How good an advert for the Gospel have you been?
Is God the first person you turn to when life is hard, or have you been trusting in other things to get you through it?
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