Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. When they saw him, they worshipped him; but some doubted.
Matthew 28:16-17 NIVUK
Attention to detail.
It's written on just about every job advert you'll see. No employer wants to hire someone who will get tripped up easily on the finer points of their work.
It might be a popular legend, but they say that the first print run of the King James Bible ran into difficulty when the printers missed out the word 'not' from the Ten Commandments. I'm sure you can guess the implications that could have had when the first official Bible for the common man reached the hands of the largely uneducated masses...
However, our attention to detail is often missing when we read these verses. In fact, sometimes we don't really read them at all. Yet within them is fascinating insight into how the disciples reacted to the dreadful violence of the cross and the heady days of the resurrection.
We read firstly that the disciples obeyed. They obeyed the risen Christ. They went where they were supposed to go. And that is critical to understand. Blessing comes through obedience. Calling comes through obedience. They are not unconditional.
I know it isn't fashionable to say it, but it needs to be said. We should accept nothing from Christ if we are not willing to obey Him. He did not come to give us some form of eternal insurance policy but let us continue on as before
No, He came to save us, change our lives and make us more like Him (Galatians 5; Ephesians 4:17-32; Philippians 2:12-13).
And that requires effort. That requires obedience.
Christianity is a global vehicle that was not built to carry passengers.
We also see that they saw Jesus and worshipped. That reaction we fully understand. How else would you react to someone who was mutilated, tortured, crucified and rose from the dead?
And yet within that act of worship is something deeply profound. We see this in the Ten Commandments:
‘I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. ‘You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.
Exodus 20:2-6 NIVUK
The disciples came from a conservative and strictly monotheist Jewish society. To recognise any other gods was blasphemy and could easily result in their deaths. They knew that.
So to worship Jesus in this way, and for Jesus, as a Jewish rabbi, to accept and not reject it (Acts 14:8-18) can only mean one thing.
Both Jesus and the disciples believed that He was God.
But then again, He has to be. His resurrection from the dead leaves us with only one conclusion. That's why the Jewish leaders were so keen to conspire against it (Matthew 28:11-15). It's why other monotheistic religions from the same area came up with implausible explanations to deny it. It's why modern, Western people don't think about it at all.
The resurrection proves that Jesus is God - the only true God. And if Jesus is God, then we should both obey Him and worship Him.
That's what the disciples are doing here.
But we also see that some doubted.
The Hebrew word for doubt means 'to be in two minds'. Jesus' brother James is uncompromising when he talks about those who doubt:
But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.
James 1:6-8 NIVUK
Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
James 4:8 NIVUK
To be double minded essentially means to try and head in two opposing directions at once. It reminds us of the strong challenge Elijah gave to Israel on Mount Carmel:
Elijah went before the people and said, ‘How long will you waver between two opinions? If the Lord is God, follow him; but if Baal is God, follow him.’ But the people said nothing.
1 Kings 18:21 NIVUK
It means 'to be unsure': to hedge our bets, to ensure we have a way out, to not be all in.
And, quite astonishingly, after all they have seen and heard and experienced, that's where these disciples are. That's how they were thinking.
We might find that utterly incredible. After all, the resurrection, with its smashing of the ice cold grip of death and the law of entropy, is, without a doubt, the single biggest miracle human beings have ever witnessed. And they had a ringside seat! They saw it happen!
So why didn't they believe? Why didn't they trust in Jesus? Why were they double-minded?
There is a world of difference between what the doubting disciples were thinking and flat-out unbelief. Unbelief is the stubborn, hard-headed refusal to believe in something, no matter what evidence is placed in front of you.
Jesus was fully aware that many in His audience found themselves in this position. Look how He ends the parable of the Rich Man and Lazarus:
‘He answered, “Then I beg you, father, send Lazarus to my family, for I have five brothers. Let him warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment.” ‘Abraham replied, “They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them.” ‘ “No, father Abraham,” he said, “but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.” ‘He said to him, “If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.” ’
Luke 16:27-31 NIVUK
But this was not how the doubting disciples were thinking. Their position is better compared to the father of the demon-possessed child whom the disciples struggled to heal:
Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, ‘I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!’
Mark 9:24 NIVUK
This is the deeply heartfelt cry of a man who has lived through incredibly hard times and struggles to see a way out.
This is where the disciples were. As you've seen in the previous studies, we cannot ever over-state or exaggerate the appallingly inhuman darkness and violence of the cross. As a means of torture and death, it's unsurpassed and unspeakably cruel. The disciples had stood and watched their Friend, their Saviour, their Hope, their Messiah, be nailed to a cross, dropped into a hole in such a way that every joint in his body would have dislocated and then see His bloodied, disfigured body fight for every last gasp of air, knowing that nothing He could do would make His situation better. They had heard His blood-curdling cries as He gave up His spirit. They had watched at a distance as Roman soldiers ensured He was absolutely dead.
And now... and now He had risen from the grave! The scars He bore were no longer marks of deepest shame, but signs of victory. They had swung like a pendulum from the deepest of despair - deeper than any of us will ever know - to the highest of joys, and in such a short time.
Not only that, but every concept they had of a Messiah had been smashed to smithereens. The Romans were still in power and still oppressing them. The Jewish authorities were still at their plotting, scheming, self-preserving worst.
Yet Jesus was alive! Risen from the dead!
We can fully understand why it took their brains a little time to catch up with what their eyes were seeing.
This makes what happens next an awesome piece of unmitigated grace.
You see, the disciples may have worshipped, recognising Jesus as God, and some may have doubted, but Jesus calles them all. He called them, without exception, to be part of His ministry to take the Gospel to the ends of the earth and make disciples of all people.
But wait a minute... did He include those who were struggling with doubts?
Absolutely, yes. No exception.
But wouldn't that have disqualified them from front line ministry?
No, not a bit.
Why?
Four reasons.
Firstly, Jesus knew their hearts (John 2:24). He knew that they were not doubting Him in a cynical way, but were simply processing what had happened. He also knew the effects the coming of the Holy Spirit would have on them (Acts 1:8). He knew that the men who were still struggling now would be revived later.
Secondly, Jesus knew His authority. He knew that God was placing all things in His hands (Philippians 2:8-11). He had the authority to call who He wanted, and He chose to choose to call the disciples. Even if they doubted Him now.
Thirdly, He knew His calling. The calling He gave His disciples was for them to make disciples - the apprentices would become apprentice-makers. But let's think on this for a second. The disciples would minister to those who had not heard of or seen Jesus (John 20:29). Their journey from struggle with coming to terms with who Jesus is, to the cross, to the resurrection, to faith in Jesus would be an inspiration and an encouragement to others who considered their message.
Fourthly, He knew He would be present. He would be with then until the end of the age (Matthew 28:20). He would not abandon or give up on them. He would be with them to strengthen them in times of internal struggle.
The combination of worship and doubt should not puzzle us. Many of us have emerged from a time when we have carried heavy crosses due to the Covid-19 pandemic. Maybe we have emerged dizzy and confused, wondering what on earth just happened and struggling to come to terms with it. That is not unusual.
These verses give us immense hope. They make us realise that people who struggle with the cross they are asked to bear aren't cast aside and abandoned. They still have a ministry. God still had a calling and a purpose for them.
When Jesus sent the disciples out as leaders of the church, He wasn't sending perfect people with theological diplomas and Master degrees in being perfect.
No, He sent people who were spectacularly ordinary - at least as ordinary as us. He sent people who had struggled with who He was for three whole years, who denied and abandoned Him in His hour of need, who found it difficult to believe what He'd been saying for a long time would happen and even now, when He was performing His last miracle and sending them out to take His message to the world, some of them still weren't getting it.
You don't need to be qualified to serve God. You don't need to be perfect. You don't need to have your whole life sorted out.
You don't even need to be devoid of any internal struggle.
What you need is to obey: to be there at the mountaintop despite your inner conflict and your misgivings and your misunderstandings. What you need to do is worship through and in spite of your doubts. What you need to do is raise your eyes and see Him in His rightful place, at the right hand of the Father.
What you need to do is follow Him.
The disciples did exactly that. And it's because of them that you now believe.
So whose life will be changed because you chose to obey?
Questions
1) Have you ever 'worshipped through doubts'? What effect did it have on you?
2) Do you see yourself as someone who doubts cynically, who is facing an inner struggle or who believes completely in Jesus?
3) Are there areas in your life where you simply need to 'trust and obey', even though it's hard?
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