The hand of the Lord was on me, and he brought me out by the Spirit of the Lord and set me in the middle of a valley; it was full of bones. He led me to and fro among them, and I saw a great many bones on the floor of the valley, bones that were very dry.
Ezekiel 37:1-2 NIVUK
A number of years ago, the news broke that the office where I was working was going to close. Everyone inside it was going to lose their jobs.
It was horrible.
During the year I remained – to make sure I got the best payout possible – I saw just about every reaction to bad situations.
I saw anger: senior managers determined to play the hero and fight this great injustice.
Of course, they lost.
I saw depression – people who could not cope with the decision and just became really sad.
But there was one reaction I just could not understand at all.
Denial.
You see, the company paid for an external company to come in and help us to prepare for the job market. They also offered us a free training course with an expensive training company. My feeling was that I should do everything I could to get another job quickly. Also, they were paying for these things, and had chosen to stop paying me for my work, so I should take as much of their money as possible, no?
But there was one woman who did none of these things. One day, as she was passing my desk, I asked her why. She replied, ‘Because I am not losing my job and this office us not closing, so why should I?’
So despite all the emails, the announcements, the meetings, the advice and the training sessions, she was determined to deny that anything was happening at all!
I’ve met a lot of people like that. They say things like this:
‘I’m not alcoholic. I can stop drinking any time I want. And I don’t want to do it today.’
‘Smoking isn’t addictive to me. I can stop doing it whenever I want.’
‘I might have had an affair or two, but it had no effect on my family.’
‘I can sleep with whomever I like. It doesn't matter.’
‘My husband or wife might be with someone else now, but they'll come home to me. I just know they will.’
‘My family doesn’t mind what I do for money, provided they get paid in the end.’
It’s all lies.
It’s all a self-deception.
We cannot live like this.
You see, Jesus teaches this:
The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. No-one has ever seen God, but the one and only Son, who is himself God and is in the closest relationship with the Father, has made him known.
John 1:14, 18 NIVUK
To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, ‘If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.’
John 8:31-32 NIVUK
Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No-one comes to the Father except through me.
John 14:6 NIVUK
Truth and Jesus are on the same side. It is simply not possible to convince yourself that a lie is true and follow Jesus at the same time.
Self-deception is also a complete denial of the basic fundamental truth that underpins the Gospel.
In the Bible, Jesus is the truth and the devil is the liar (John 8:44). You must choose between them. You cannot be on the side of both.
So for us to follow Jesus, we must believe the truth about our situation, no matter how incredibly painful this is.
And we must also believe the truth about our own sin. As John teaches:
If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us.
1 John 1:8-10 NIVUK
This is highly relevant to Ezekiel 37, because for generations the Jews had refused to believe both that their situation was bad and that their sin was awful – they especially refused to believe that their sin was the root cause of their situation.
You can see this denial throughout the history of the Jews – and particularly in the history of the Southern Kingdom, Judah.
Two events stand out for me. The first is when Jeremiah contents with the false prophets of his day (see Jeremiah 14:13-16 for instance), one of whom was Hananiah (Jeremiah 28). This meeting resulted in Hananiah’s death.
The second was when Jeremiah’s words were taken to the king, but not only did he ignore them – he actually personally burned the scroll on which they were written (Jeremiah 36).
The king who did this also died.
And none of these events did anything to prevent the horror of the exile from taking place.
Denial is the ultimate in psychological folly. How can we overcome a problem we are too afraid to look in the eye? How can we defeat a sin we cannot bring ourselves to admit is real?How can we resolve a relationship issue if we are absolutely adamant that we have done nothing wrong?
The way out of the Valley of Bones begins with admitting, no matter how painful it is, that the valley exists.
There is a further painful truth that we must admit. God is not glorified as much in our strength as He is in our weakness. As Paul explained:
But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NIVUK
So if we cannot admit a problem, a weakness, a sin or our part in a disagreement – if we are both unwilling to stop being strong and start being weak – then perhaps the problem is that we are more concerned with our own glory than God’s.
And that is a truly awful situation to be in.
Let’s make sure this is a place we never find ourselves in, because even the Valley of Dry Bones is better than there.
Questions
1. Can you think of at least three reasons why a Christian should be prepared to admit to being in a bad situation?
2. Why is this such a hard thing to do?
3. How can we make sure we don’t fall into the self-deceptive trap of denial?
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