Matthew 6:9 NIVUK
[9] ‘This, then, is how you should pray: ‘ “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name,
I’ve not been invited to so many weddings, but I remember reading about one that had quite a reaction online. A rift had developed between the bride and her mother, because the mother decided to go to the wedding in an ornate white dress to deliberately upstage the bride – her own daughter. She had the gall to try to detract attention from the bride and groom and attract it to herself.
In most cultures, that is a terrible violation of etiquette. We would like to have a few choice words with a mother like that. ‘It’s not about you.’ we would tell her. ‘It’s your daughter's big day, not yours.’
And then we come to prayer.
I’d like you to imagine that you have a child. This child has reached their teenage years. You have loved them and cared for them as best you can.
But they have become unbearably self-centred. They forget your birthday. They never buy you anything for Christmas. You can’t remember the last time they asked you about your day or had a conversation with you about anything.
All they do is come to you with a list of demands. For their birthday. For Christmas. For the latest gadget one of their friends has. For an increase in allowance.
How would that feel?
Painful?
And then we come to prayer.
Some of us are old enough to remember the subversive American TV comedy 'Married... With Children', where Ed O’Neil played the downtrodden father who sat on his couch and unwillingly handed over money to his wife, his son, his daughter, and even his dog, in a title sequence that was pretty much unchanged for a decade.
That is how many of us see God: as someone whose hands we can force into dolling out blessings, but whom we can ignore and deride the rest of the time.
And then we come to prayer.
I was raised in a Christian family. We were brought up to bring our needs before God. That is a good thing. It is absolutely right.
But it can also bring a mentality where we treat God like a celestial Santa Claus, bring him a long checklist of what we want and then become disappointed if He doesn’t deliver according to our schedule.
That is not prayer.
Because prayer is not about us. Not about us at all.
I watched the celebrity version of the BBC’s ‘Race Across the World’. In the 2024, the actor Kola Bokkini, who had become famous very quickly after starring in a hit TV show, participated with his cousin. While staring at the wondrous scenery of South America, he was struck by a profound revelation. He said these words: ‘Being here makes me realise that I am not the main character in my own life’.
Those are deep words.
But let me repurpose them:
You are not the main character of your own prayers.
They are not all about you.
They are about God.
Don’t believe me?
Look at how this prayer begins:
Matthew 6:9 NIVUK
[9] ‘This, then, is how you should pray: ‘ “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.
This prayer is about God. Not us. God
To understand this prayer better, we need to look in more detail about Who – that is, the aspect of God that Jesus pulls out here:
Father.
He calls God ‘Our Father’.
Now, Jesus doesn’t use the Aramaic term for ‘father’ here, which could more accurately be translated as ‘Daddy’. He only uses that term once in the Gospels, and it is only used when He is in the Garden of Gethsemane (Mark 14:36).
No, He uses the Greek word ‘Pater’, which means ‘nourisher, protector, upholder... father’.
Jesus’ use even of this term would have been hugely controversial among the Jews listening to this prayer. It entailed a relationship with God – an intimacy – that they just did not have, and considered downright inappropriate.
It’s still controversial now. Some people have a problem with the word ‘father’ because their own fathers were abusive or just did not fit the job description.
I understand that.
Others have a real problem with the use of the term ‘father’ because they seeing it as coming from the patriarchy, consider it to be sexist and want a more gender more neutral term.
I don’t understand that.
The Greek term means ‘father’. You can’t change it just because you don’t like it. No-one has the right to re-write the Bible in their own image.
The reality is that God is our Father. Whether you think that idea is fine or old fashioned or revolutionary is not the point and makes no difference whatsoever.
What should strike us with wonder and awe here is the reality that we are His children.
As John states:
1 John 3:1-3 NIVUK
[1] See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. [2] Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. [3] All who have this hope in him purify themselves, just as he is pure.
John 1:12-13 NIVUK
[12] Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God – [13] children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.
And Paul explained:
Galatians 3:26-29 NIVUK
[26] So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, [27] for all of you who were baptised into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. [28] There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. [29] If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.
I had a girl in my class at school which boasted that her uncle was Jim Bett, who at the time was a footballer in the top division in Scotland. I have to admit, that was impressive. I was impressed, anyway.
But to say that you are a child of God? That’s way more impressive.
What makes it even more impressive is the reality that we were not born into His family. He chose us. We were adopted.
Ephesians 1:4-6 NIVUK
[4] For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love [5] he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will – [6] to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.
That truly is a marvel.
Maybe it’s time we stopped haggling and arguing over nothing more than words and simply appreciate that God is our Father, and we are His children.
That ought to make an enormous difference to how we pray.
But we need to move on from who to Where – that is, where is our Father?
That is a question which, to their shame, is asked of many fathers who have abandoned their responsibilities and left their families.
But God is not like that. He is not an absentee Father.
This prayer states plainly where He is. He is in Heaven.
A few weeks ago, I was away from my family. If anyone has asked my daughter where I was, she would have said ‘London’.
Her uncle is working in Indonesia for a while. If any of his children were asked where he was, they would say ‘West Papua’.
But this is not like that.
Our God is not far away. He is ever-present.
Jeremiah 23:23-24 NIVUK
[23] ‘Am I only a God nearby,’ declares the Lord, ‘and not a God far away? [24] Who can hide in secret places so that I cannot see them?’ declares the Lord. ‘Do not I fill heaven and earth?’ declares the Lord.
But saying that He is in Heaven is not a bad thing. It’s a bit like having a father who works away. They work away – something that is not at all easy for any father – to give their family a better life.
The Bible teaches that it is from Heaven that our prayers are heard and answered.
Any passing reader of Revelation will know that it is a very noisy book, what with all the battles and plagues and souls being condemned to hell. Yet in the middle of this deafeningly loud book, we see these words about prayer:
Revelation 8:1-5 NIVUK
[1] When he opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven for about half an hour. [2] And I saw the seven angels who stand before God, and seven trumpets were given to them. [3] Another angel, who had a golden censer, came and stood at the altar. He was given much incense to offer, with the prayers of all God’s people, on the golden altar in front of the throne. [4] The smoke of the incense, together with the prayers of God’s people, went up before God from the angel’s hand. [5] Then the angel took the censer, filled it with fire from the altar, and hurled it on the earth; and there came peals of thunder, rumblings, flashes of lightning and an earthquake.
This is a picture of all of Heaven being silenced for God to hear our prayers, and then to answer them in a spectacular way.
So never think that your prayers hit the ceiling, or bounce off a cloud, and never reach God’s ears. Nothing could be further from the truth.
He silences the host of Heaven to hear them.
So we see the who and the where of prayer. We also see the What: that is, what should we be praying for?
Matthew 6:9 NIVUK
[9] ‘This, then, is how you should pray: ‘ “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name,
One little boy got this section of the prayer all muddled up and thought that God’s name was Harold.
That is, of course, mildly amusing.
The mix-up we often get into as Christians over this is not.
You see, we often skip through this verse as if it didn’t really matter.
The truth is: our knowledge of what it actually means is pretty vague.
To understand what it means, it would be helpful for us to understand what the opposite means.
In the Ten Commandments, we read these words:
Exodus 20:7 NIVUK
[7] You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.
We take this to mean that we should not take the name of the Lord lightly, or treat it flippantly, or to use it as a vow or a curse.
That is a possible application. And of course, we should do none of these. That goes without saying.
But there is another application: a moral application.
To explain it, it would be helpful to consider the role of Public Relations people. We are aware of them. They manage the reputation of those who are famous. They take over their social media accounts. They deal with journalists and bloggers. They try to ‘manage the narrative’ to keep positive stories about the people they represent in the press, and negative stories out of the public eye.
We are, in a sense, God’s PR, in that His glory, His majesty, His reputation is reflected in us who bear His Name as Christians.
But are we doing a good job?
The Jews certainly didn’t. When they were defeated by the Babylonians and taken into exile, the prophets Isaiah and Ezekiel spoke some unbelievably tough, but necessary, words about them:
Isaiah 52:5 NIVUK
[5] ‘And now what do I have here?’ declares the Lord. ‘For my people have been taken away for nothing, and those who rule them mock,’ declares the Lord. ‘And all day long my name is constantly blasphemed.
Ezekiel 36:19-23 NIVUK
[19] I dispersed them among the nations, and they were scattered through the countries; I judged them according to their conduct and their actions. [20] And wherever they went among the nations they profaned my holy name, for it was said of them, “These are the Lord’s people, and yet they had to leave his land.” [21] I had concern for my holy name, which the people of Israel profaned among the nations where they had gone. [22] ‘Therefore say to the Israelites, “This is what the Sovereign Lord says: it is not for your sake, people of Israel, that I am going to do these things, but for the sake of my holy name, which you have profaned among the nations where you have gone. [23] I will show the holiness of my great name, which has been profaned among the nations, the name you have profaned among them. Then the nations will know that I am the Lord, declares the Sovereign Lord, when I am proved holy through you before their eyes.
This was, of course, due to their heavy and crushing defeat in battle by armies which worshipped pagan gods.
However, in Romans Paul picks up an incredibly challenging aspect to this:
Romans 2:22-24 NIVUK
[22] You who say that people should not commit adultery, do you commit adultery? You who abhor idols, do you rob temples? [23] You who boast in the law, do you dishonour God by breaking the law? [24] As it is written: ‘God’s name is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you.’
In other words, this was not just a matter of what they said, or what they allowed other people to say. God’s Name was being profaned and blasphemed because of how they were living.
They were terrible PRs for God’s hallowed Name.
And there lies the problem.
It is remarkably easy to pray for God’s Name to be hallowed.
But is it being hallowed in us?
Are we the answer to our own prayer?
More than ten years ago, a senior manager asked me to create a presentation for her as a special project, which she was due to present in front of some senior managers. I was happy to do so.
On the morning of her presentation, I was running through it and making some last minute tweaks to it when one of the people who was due to attend that meeting – a real techie dude – entered the office, passed by my desk and said hello. I responded to his greeting.
I emailed the senior manager the presentation I had made for her.
She presented it in the meeting – but completely neglected to say who had made it.
The presentation went well. The senior managers liked it. They commended her for it.
She did not mention my name.
But the techie guy had a question. He was a bit suspicious. He didn’t think she was capable of making a presentation like that. He asked her, ‘Tell me: was this all your own work?’
‘Yes.’ She lied.
‘That’s funny.’ the technical guy told her. ‘Because this morning I passed by Paul Downie’s desk and I saw him working on it.’
She was silent. She had nothing to say.
She had been caught out. She had attempted to claim the credit for her own - in a sense, to steal my 'glory'.
When we pray for our own benefit, to enhance our own reputation, to feather our own nest, are we not doing the same?
If we look back at the Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector, we see this turn of phrase:
Luke 18:11-12 NIVUK
[11] The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: “God, I thank you that I am not like other people – robbers, evildoers, adulterers – or even like this tax collector. [12] I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.”
The modern NIV translation does not at all capture the full force of the Greek word used for ‘stood by himself’ here. The Greek indicates that he prayed in regard to himself, to himself and to the advantage of himself.
In other words – and I know this is controversial – this Pharisee’s prayer would have happened if he did not believe God existed. God was not even part of the picture. The Pharisee’s prayer was simply a means of his boasting about his position in life in front of whoever was present. God, to him, was of no consequence whatsoever.
When our prayer list becomes nothing more than a checklist of bucket list items we want God to deliver for us, God – the real God – might as well not exist. We are not treating Him as a Divine Person. Instead, we are treating Him like a heavenly ATM, into which we stuff our prayers in the hope that He will spit out our desires. The Creator God, the Sustainer of all things, the One who sent His Son to die for us on the cross, is reduced to nothing more than a fairy godfather or a mall Santa.
We make God the One who lives for our glory, when, in fact, we should live for His.
A friend and former colleague of mine told me about one of her friends that sounds so incredibly stupid that still today I doubt the veracity of it.
Her friend wanted to go to St John's island in Singapore. I understand that. It’s a very pretty tropical island. So she searched for flights to ‘St John’s’, booked them and set off.
When her flight headed west instead of east, she got a bit suspicious, but decided that, since she had bought the tickets, she should just keep going.
Her journey ended in St John’s, Newfoundland, Canada – a place with temperatures a lot less than tropical.
Had she carried out even the most rudimentary checks, she would have found out that St John’s island, Singapore has no international airport, or any airport of any description, because it is too small.
It is absolutely possible for us to have a prayer life that appears to be one hundred percent spiritual, and to have the most disciplined prayer routine, but for everything to be completely wrong, because all our prayers are directed towards our progress, our career, our finances, our glory, and not God’s.
They are headed in the wrong direction.
So before you pray these words – in any setting – ask yourself these questions:
· Who are you praying to? Is it to your Father God? Or would you rather God was something like an ATM or a fairy godfather who will grant you all your wishes?
· Where is the person you are praying to? Are they in heaven? Where is the person who ultimately benefits from your prayers?
· Whose name gets the glory from your prayers? Are you the answer to your own prayer?
These questions will likely not be easy. However, getting these questions right makes sure that your prayers will be honouring to God, and that is what matters most of all.
Prayer
Lord Jesus, save me from myself! Help me to examine my prayer life and to ask myself who really benefits from my prayers. Help me to examine my life to see if I am answering my own prayer and hallowing Your Name. Amen.
Questions
1. Why is it significant that we pray to our Father in Heaven?
2. How do we hallow the Lord’s Name?
3. Who ultimately benefits the most from your prayers?
Comments