Lazarus Come Out From Your Accusations

“Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!” But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?”” 

John 11:36-37 NIV 

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/jhn.11.36-37.NIV)

How people react to your misfortune is always very interesting. 

When my Dad died in 2001, our neighbours at the time – two old Catholic ladies – kept their distance from my Mum as if death was a plague they didn’t want to catch.  

It was highly ironic: they spent their days going to wakes and funerals for the free food. 

When you have a condition – like a heart attack, diabetes, cancer or stroke – that has a bit of a stigma attached because it can be caused by human behaviour, people’s reactions are all the more interesting, and can be downright hurtful. 

‘He got it because he was overweight.’ 

‘His diet must have been terrible.’ 

‘He just wasn’t fit.’ 

‘I bet his wife stressed him out.’ 

‘He’s getting what he deserves.’ 

People are keen to use your condition as fodder for their gossip.  

In this short meditation, I am going to expose precisely what motivates such people. This may be unconformable. 

Those who are obsessed with the lives of others do so because they have no lives of their own. 

Those who have to feel better about themselves by kicking others when they are down only do so because they are terribly frightened and insecure. 

They are insecure about who they are and where they are in the grand scheme of things, so they have to kick down on someone – anyone – to hoist themselves up.  

They are frightened of what happened to you. They are terrified that it might happen to them. And so, they build reasons in their mind as to why it happened to you but couldn’t happen to them, even if, deep down, they know they are fooling themselves. 

They may seem like they are strong. They are not. They are pathetically weak, fragile people. 

We ought to feel sorry for them. 

And some of them, like these Jews, are outwardly religious people.  

Imagine the extent their disgust towards Jesus reached: they even sought to score points against Him while He was mourning a loved one! 

But I want us to notice how Jesus behaved towards these weak, fragile people. We have much to learn from this. What does He say to them? What did He do?

Absolutely nothing! Not one thing! 

There is a very special proverb of Solomon’s: 

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” 

Proverbs 17:17 NIV 

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/pro.17.17.NIV)

Such people are not your friends. They are seeking to take advantage of your troubles to feel good about themselves. They only power they have to hurt you is the power you give them. Your recovery is way more important than their opinion.  

So cut them out. Ignore them. Let them be. 

God sees what they are doing. God knows that they are saying. Let God call them to account. 

Keep your distance. Grant them no power to hurt you. 

Fear God, not people, because that is true wisdom (Proverbs 9:10). 

Love them because you must. Love them because God commands it. But love them from a safe distance. Love them as you love yourself. 

Don’t put your recovery at risk for the sake of people who don’t care about your recovery. 

You do not need people like that. Find those who are there to comfort and help you. 

They are the people you need.