But Jesus withdrew to lonely places and prayed.
Luke 5:16 NIVUK
When I was growing up, we had a dog - a small Jack Russell terrier. Now, I was a teenager. And teenagers are always troubled. It comes with the package. And the hormones
For around a decade, my parents had no less than three teenagers in the house at one time. I was the passive-aggressive, abrasive one. My two sisters were the ultra-hormonal, emotional, demanding ones. My brother came later. I think he was reasonably okay. I'm sure my parents were pretty relieved about that.
There were times when I just wanted to get out of our apartment and walk our dog. So I did. I think there wasn't a dog in our town that had more exercise than ours.
One of my favourite routes led me to a park, around a mile and a half away, on the opposite side of town. It was never that busy, especially during the day. So if I felt I needed to, I would walk the dog there, let him off the lead and spend time in the quiet, a little away from the main path, where I enjoyed the view and prayed.
It's a practice I've carried with me through life. When we moved to another town, I found a hill to where I could walk and do the same thing.
When I was a missionary in Pitesti, Romania, I used to use another small park on the edge of the town, or walk through the centre on my own until I reached Vasile Milea Square and people-watch.
In Brasov, I used to love sitting in Council Square, with its old buildings and view of Tampa Hill and the mountains, and I would do the same.
Even during Lockdown, and right up until now, I've done the same thing. I have a very busy and often stressful job. By lunch time, it feels like a hive of angry wasps has taken up residence in my skull. I relieve the stress and rest by taking time to myself, switching off and forgetting about work for a while. I often go for a walk into woodland near our house, which is deserted during the day, just to get some peace and quiet.
And I know I'm not weird. At least, not in this area. You see, numerous Bible characters have done the same thing: they have found themselves time and space to be completely alone and pray.
In fact, the principle of finding a quiet space where we can meet with God didn't begin with monks or fancy, ivory-tower theologians. It began in creation:
Now the Lord God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed.
Genesis 2:8 NIVUK
It's not obvious in English, but the Hebrew word for 'garden' means an enclosed, walled-in, defended, private area. And the word 'Eden' means 'pleasure'. So the Garden of Eden wasn't just a paradise. It was a place of pleasure where God could meet with His creation in privacy and seclusion, which He did (Genesis 3:8).
So what can we take from this? If God created an enclosed garden in which He could meet with His creation - us - then surely we were created to find pleasure in meeting with God in seclusion, on our own?
So what happens next?
A pattern starts to emerge. When God needs to intervene in the lives of major Bible characters, He seems to do it by speaking to them when they are alone.
For example: when Abraham receives the vision of God's purpose for him and his family (Genesis 15), he is alone in this experience - no-one else has it but him.
When God tells him that Sodom and Gomorrah will be destroyed, again, Abraham is alone with God (Genesis 16:18-23).
Jacob's life-defining vision of the stairway to heaven (Genesis 28:10-22) and his wrestling with the angel (Genesis 32:22-32) happened when he was alone.
And then we move further into Biblical history. Moses saw the burning bush and was called to rescue the Israelites from slavery in Egypt while alone (Exodus 3:1-10).
When Elijah ran away from Jezebel's threats, he was not just running away from danger, he was running to God - alone (1 Kings 19:1-9).
It's not just Old Testament history either. Jesus' ministry began in the desert, where He was tempted and tested by the devil during a forty-day-long fast (Matthew 4:1-11; Luke 4:1-13). The idea of starting your ministry with an extended period of seclusion was quite normal for a Jewish preacher in those days. So normal, in fact, that Paul himself did it. He headed to Arabia first before joining the Apostles (Galatians 1:17).
But Jesus takes this one step further. It was His habit throughout His ministry to seek out deserted, secluded places where He could pray. We see this happen again and again and again throughout the Gospels (Mark 1:35; Luke 5:16, 6:12). In fact, the Bible tells us that one of the reasons why Judas could find Jesus so easily in the Garden of Gethsemane was because it was a place where Jesus went frequently with His disciples (John 18:2). And what was He doing there? He was praying, privately and on His own (Matthew 26:36-43; Mark 14:32-42; Luke 22:39-45).
The practice of finding a secluded place to pray and be with God is not strange. In fact, it is a perfectly normal practice. It's actually a practice Jesus commands:
‘And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
Matthew 6:5-6 NIVUK
And that's just it. What lies behind the practice of seclusion is the idea of being unseen. It is the practice of depriving yourself of human company and attention to concentrate on God.
Communal worship is critically important to Christians. We are told not to neglect it (Hebrews 10:24-25), and that is absolutely right. No man is an island. We are not supposed to be solitary beings. We are designed for community and that is where we belong. So please don't misunderstand me: I am not advocating that we retreat from our churches into the wilderness and spend the rest of our days silently meditating in a cave.
What I am saying is that within the corporate life of the Body of Christ, it's also important to balance our time in the community with time spent alone with God.
But why?
When we are with other people, we face two strong temptations. The first is the pressure to perform: to make a show of our spirituality for others to see. This is precisely what Jesus was so clearly against in Matthew 6. Why? Because our religion can quickly become all show and no substance. It can just become an act or a pretence.
In Ancient Greek, the word for 'actor' or 'pretender' is the word 'hypocrytes'. Do you know what turns people off from following Christ the most? When we, His people who bear His name, are hypocrites; when our religion is nothing more than an act.
And they are not alone. God hates that with a passion:
The Lord says: ‘These people come near to me with their mouth and honour me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is based on merely human rules they have been taught.
Isaiah 29:13 NIVUK
‘Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.
Matthew 23:27-28 NIVUK
But there is another temptation, and that temptation is to conform, to fit in, to just be like everyone else. We don't think. We don't decide. We just do whatever everyone else is doing.
That is equally as wrong. Because if we don't think, we can very quickly be led into error:
‘Do not follow the crowd in doing wrong.'
Exodus 23:2 NIVUK
We cannot escape the uncomfortable truth that it was a crowd - and a religious one at that - which falsely condemned our Lord Jesus to death (Matthew 27:15-26; Mark 15:1-15; Luke 23:1-25).
There also things other people do that are just not right for us, even if there is no rule or teaching against them in the Bible. If we give in to peer pressure from other Christians, we may find ourselves in an uncomfortable situation and may feel incredibly guilty over something we believe we have done wrong, even if the Bible says nothing about it (Romans 14).
Corporate and personal worship are both necessary to keep us in balance. Corporate worship is necessary so that we gain encouragement, and occasionally correction, from other believers. Personal worship during our quiet times is necessary to give us the time and space to 'be real' with God and to deal with issues in our lives that are too sensitive to discuss in a corporate context.
If we do one and not the other, then our spiritual life will be out of balance, distorted, twisted, and our growth will be stunted. Time spent in seclusion with God is absolutely critical for us to live a balanced, obedient, resilient Christian life.
But how do we do it?
There is no great secret. We find a place and we find a time. That's it. For example, mine is usually in our bedroom while my wife is preparing for work. I close the door and that's it: I'm alone with God.
Now, I know this isn't always easy, especially if you have flatmates or small children or demanding relatives that you care for, or if your accommodation is too small to allow you to have a private space. When my daughter was a pre-schooler, it was often a challenge. But it was never impossible. Sometimes all it took was getting up slightly earlier or being prepared to have my quiet time in chunks throughout the day instead of all at once. It is possible. We just need effort and the desire to make it work.
Let me finish this first principle with an illustration. Let's say that you have a girlfriend, or boyfriend, and you have been together for some time. Things are looking really good. Except for one thing: your beloved has a pathological fear of being alone with you. They can't go on a picnic, walk or day out; they can't go to the cinema or theatre or restaurant; they can't even have a relaxing night in at your place, unless there are other people there.
At first, you think this is something good. 'At least they're careful. We can't give in to temptation this way.' you might say to yourself.
However, as the relationship develops, things start to take a bizarre turn. They propose to you on a night out with your friends. When you get married, there are no photos of you both by yourselves - every single photo has a friend or a family member in it. Even at the top of the aisle, they kept a relative close and would not let them return to their seat.
But things reach a head on your honeymoon. You wake up and almost fall out of bed, because your new partner has booked you bunk beds in a dormitory with your entire wedding party, including both parents.
I imagine you'd be in marriage guidance counselling within the first week of marriage. There's no way you would tolerate that.
We say we love God. We say we are so devoted to Him. We sing about it a lot.
So why are we so afraid of being alone with Him?
Questions:
Why do you think so many leading Bible characters had life-changing experiences with God privately, instead of during corporate worship?
'Time spent in seclusion with God is absolutely critical to living a balanced, obedient, resilient Christian life.' Do you agree with this? How will you make sure that your Christian life is balanced, obedient and resilient?
Should we view our quiet times as something we must do or something we do to spend time with someone we love? Which is true of you?
I still to this day at 77 years of age go out to be alone and quiet and pray.