Get Off The Ladder - The Rivalry

Genesis 25:21-26 NIV 

[21] Isaac prayed to the Lord on behalf of his wife, because she was childless. The Lord answered his prayer, and his wife Rebekah became pregnant. [22] The babies jostled each other within her, and she said, “Why is this happening to me?” So she went to inquire of the Lord. [23] The Lord said to her, “Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples from within you will be separated; one people will be stronger than the other, and the older will serve the younger.” [24] When the time came for her to give birth, there were twin boys in her womb. [25] The first to come out was red, and his whole body was like a hairy garment; so they named him Esau. [26] After this, his brother came out, with his hand grasping Esau’s heel; so he was named Jacob. Isaac was sixty years old when Rebekah gave birth to them. 

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/gen.25.21-26.NIV)

I was born into a city that is riven with a rivalry which is over a century old. When I was growing up, our living room was divided once a year by another long-running sporting rivalry. There was rivalry between neighbourhoods, between even primary schools and, quite astonishingly, between churches and denominations. 

I didn’t like it. I still don’t. 

I worked for a company that introduced rivalry in their bonus system to try to encourage ‘healthy competition’ in and between teams. I have heard of parents (and I don’t see how this could ever result on anything good) who have used rivalry between their children. I have seen rivalry between different factions in churches. 

I have seen the concept play out in so many ways. It has its place in games or in the sports field. 

It has no place in families and no place in church. The sooner we realise it, the much happier these places will be. 

It astonishes me that even right at the heart of the Messianic line, we find otherwise bright, intelligent and reasonably spiritually minded people permitting the poison of rivalry to enter their family. 

For example: Abraham taking a wife who became Sarah’s rival (Genesis 16). Or Jacob, with his four wives split into two factions who quite simply caused havoc in his home life (Genesis 29:31-30:24). Then we have Elkanah with his two rival wives (1 Samuel 1:1-20). 

It’s not without reason that we see this in Jewish law: 

Leviticus 18:18 NIV 

[18] “ ‘Do not take your wife’s sister as a rival wife and have sexual relations with her while your wife is living. 

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/lev.18.18.NIV)

The very idea is just madness. 

Rivalry is not at all positive in the Kingdom of God. Either seeing someone as above us on the ladder of souls and feeling that we need to clamber over them or seeing them as below us so we need to prevent their rising – both are on the wrong side of the love line.

Rivalry can never be an expression of love for God, our neighbours or even ourselves. It always breeds contempt and objectification. 

It is always the complete opposite of love. 

If left unchecked, it leads to disappointment, brokenness and despair.  

There cannot be winners and loses in the Kingdom of God. We are not there to best each other at anything. The Gospel teaches that we are all losers who win only by the grace of God. Anything else is anti-Gospel, anti-Christian and anti-Christ.  

It is not the way of the Cross. 

In this study, we will not examine one particular verse. Instead, we will examine the life of a man who perceived life as a competition to best his own brother. We will see the effect this rivalry had on his family and the man hinself: 

Jacob. 

Before we get into this any further, we need to understand something of the character of the man. This is even exemplified from before his birth: 

Genesis 25:21-23 NIV 

[21] Isaac prayed to the Lord on behalf of his wife, because she was childless. The Lord answered his prayer, and his wife Rebekah became pregnant. [22] The babies jostled each other within her, and she said, “Why is this happening to me?” So she went to inquire of the Lord. [23] The Lord said to her, “Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples from within you will be separated; one people will be stronger than the other, and the older will serve the younger.” 

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/gen.25.21-23.NIV)

So even from before birth, God’s plan was for Jacob (the younger) to be served by Esau (the older).  

There are other people who were given similar visions. Twice Joseph received visions of how he would be exalted over his family (Genesis 37:5-10). David was told he would be king instead of Saul (1 Samuel 16:12-13). Yet neither of these men did anything to make these prophecies come true. 

Jacob, however, was a different story: 

Genesis 25:24-26 NIV 

[24] When the time came for her to give birth, there were twin boys in her womb. [25] The first to come out was red, and his whole body was like a hairy garment; so they named him Esau. [26] After this, his brother came out, with his hand grasping Esau’s heel; so he was named Jacob. Isaac was sixty years old when Rebekah gave birth to them. 

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/gen.25.24-26.NIV)

The Hebrew idiom ‘heel-grasper’ was given to someone who was a trickster or a con-man. So right from his birth, Jacob was recognised a someone who would be up to no good. 

He was, in a sense, born to struggle. 

But I’m not sure it brought him much joy. 

Here was someone who coveted what someone else had his whole life. And yes, there were times when he won. But there were also times when the trickster was himself tricked. His family also echoed his values in ways that rebounded his struggles back on him. We’ll explore his life as a cautionary tale, examining the people he struggled with, and will ask if his attempts to climb the ladder of souls really succeeded. 

The first person he struggled with, and began struggling with before he was even born, was His Brother, Esau. 

His Brother 

Genesis 25:27-34 NIV 

[27] The boys grew up, and Esau became a skillful hunter, a man of the open country, while Jacob was content to stay at home among the tents. [28] Isaac, who had a taste for wild game, loved Esau, but Rebekah loved Jacob. [29] Once when Jacob was cooking some stew, Esau came in from the open country, famished. [30] He said to Jacob, “Quick, let me have some of that red stew! I’m famished!” (That is why he was also called Edom.) [31] Jacob replied, “First sell me your birthright.” [32] “Look, I am about to die,” Esau said. “What good is the birthright to me?” [33] But Jacob said, “Swear to me first.” So he swore an oath to him, selling his birthright to Jacob. [34] Then Jacob gave Esau some bread and some lentil stew. He ate and drank, and then got up and left. So Esau despised his birthright. 

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/gen.25.27-34.NIV)

I was the firstborn in my family, so I don’t really know what it feels like to stand in the shadow of anyone. I do know, however, that in other families there were people who spent their whole lives in their siblings’ shadow. You would hear of parents saying, ‘Why can’t you be more like...?’ or ‘They are so successful. What happened to you? Why are you a failure?’ 

If that’s where you are right now, my heart goes out to you. It’s a terrible place to be. 

Jacob was a sly character. His brother Esau seems to have been more instinctive, more naive and less streetwise. Jacob very quickly took advantage of that. As Esau was the firstborn, even if just by a matter of minutes, he would inherit double what Jacob would inherit on the death of their parents.  

Due to their chosen paths in life, Esau was also outside the family home more than Jacob, who stayed in the family tents.  

Now, I want you to notice a very telling sentence here: 

Genesis 25:28 NIV 

[28] Isaac, who had a taste for wild game, loved Esau, but Rebekah loved Jacob. 

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/gen.25.28.NIV)

The rivalry between the boys had been there since birth, but Isaac and Rebekah poured gas on the flame by picking sides. This is a major parenting flaw. They should not have done this. It was not their job as loving parents. 

Friend, you may be reading this and may find yourself in a rivalry that has been fanned into flame accidentally by parents who have taken sides and played favourites. Yes, you still have to respect your parents. That is a command, not an option (Exodus 20:12; Deuteronomy 5:16; Ephesians 6:1-3). 

But you do not have to accept comparisons from anyone between you and someone who is not you. That is not fair. 

I am writing as a parent and as the firstborn of four children. Parents, do not ever compare your children: not to other children, not to each other. They are unique. They are special. They do not need nor deserve the crippling psychological burden of being compared to someone they will never be. 

Now, what Jacob also does here is not at all fair. He uses his brother’s character flaws and his hunger to manipulate him into trading his birthright as firstborn son for a bowl of stew. 

Yes, what Esau did was very stupid and disrespectful to his inheritance and to his parents. It was wrong. There was no doubt about that. He gave away something very valuable for little more than a hot meal.  

But Jacob played him like a fiddle. 

It is an evil and manipulative person who takes advantage of someone else’s weakness to make themselves stronger. This is nothing short of exploitation. 

This is not love. Far from it. Love covers over weakness (Genesis 9:20-27; 1 Peter 4:8). It does not ever exploit it for personal gain. 

But Jacob, with his brutally competitive nature, is not done there. What follows is a stark and very troubling example of how far he was willing to go, as he then metaphorically wrestled with His Father. 

His Father 

Genesis 27:1-4 NIV 

[1] When Isaac was old and his eyes were so weak that he could no longer see, he called for Esau his older son and said to him, “My son.” “Here I am,” he answered. [2] Isaac said, “I am now an old man and don’t know the day of my death. [3] Now then, get your equipment—your quiver and bow—and go out to the open country to hunt some wild game for me. [4] Prepare me the kind of tasty food I like and bring it to me to eat, so that I may give you my blessing before I die.” 

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/gen.27.1-4.NIV)

Whenever we read of people who have conned old people out of their life savings, we are angry and revolted. And it’s correct to act in this way. It is a cold, heinous crime. 

But this... This is beyond the pale. 

Isaac was old and he was blind. He wanted to give his first born and favoured son Esau (remember how we saw that it is totally wrong for any parent to have favourite children) his blessing.  

What follows is that Isaac’s beloved wife Rebekah and his younger son Jacob collude to trick this poor, elderly man into giving his rich blessing to Jacob and leaving nothing of any great worth to his favoured son Esau. 

Now, we will learn later on that God had His purposes in this (Malachi 1:2-5; Romans 9:10-13). That divine purpose was enacted through history. 

However, for the purposes of this study we are looking at the act of trickery and deceit.  

This is fraud. Jacob defrauded his own elderly and blind father out of his blessing. That very act ought to send chills down our spine. Again, how could this possibly be love? Two people from his own family were acting together to ensure that Isaac’s dying wish was not granted.

This is an appalling act of selfishness. 

And look at the effect it had on their family: 

Genesis 27:41 NIV 

[41] Esau held a grudge against Jacob because of the blessing his father had given him. He said to himself, “The days of mourning for my father are near; then I will kill my brother Jacob.” 

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/gen.27.41.NIV)

Jesus later taught this: 

Luke 11:17 NIV 

[17] Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them: “Any kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and a house divided against itself will fall.  

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/luk.11.17.NIV)

The very presence of rivalry, and its accompanying deceit, fraud and exploitation, did not make the Patriarchal family stronger, as some might allege. No, it made them considerably weaker. That is something we must remember. Survival of the fittest is all well and good for the fittest, but not for the weaker casualties they leave behind.  

It just isn’t love at all. 

But Jacob still isn’t done. This rascal moves on from wrestling with his brother and his father to His Father-in-Law. 

His Father-in-Law 

Genesis 31:4-7 NIV 

[4] So Jacob sent word to Rachel and Leah to come out to the fields where his flocks were. [5] He said to them, “I see that your father’s attitude toward me is not what it was before, but the God of my father has been with me. [6] You know that I’ve worked for your father with all my strength, [7] yet your father has cheated me by changing my wages ten times. However, God has not allowed him to harm me.  

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/gen.31.4-7.NIV)

There are some pretty bizarre competitions in the world, such as wife-carrying (Finland), chasing a giant wheel of red Leicester cheese down a hill (England), gurning (pulling an ugly face – also England), cockroach racing (Australia) and caber-tossing (throwing a massive log – Scotland). These are mostly just for fun. They aren’t usually taken that seriously. 

However, what we see in Genesis 29, 30 and 31 has to be one of the most bizarre series of competitions in history. 

What makes them all the stranger is that they are not two people meeting in some official capacity, but they are family members: son and father-in-law. These are three chapters which show the levels of complete absurdity that two men are prepared to go to in order to be the ‘top dog’. It’s hard not to laugh at the utter insanity, but we have to remember that these are real people with real lives. The depths to which they sink are lessons for us all. 

In truth, Jacob was a con-man. But he married two women whose father was also a con-man. And so, in true live-by-the-sword, die-by-the-sword manner (Matthew 26:52), these two con-men decide to out-con each other. Their horrifically competitive behaviour spreads in the family and everything just ends up a thoroughly unruly mess. 

For example, the first move in this utterly bizarre chess match was when Laban conned Jacob. Jacob worked for seven years to marry Rachel, Laban’s daughter. Laban switched Rachel for Leah during the wedding, successfully conning a further seven years work from Jacob and having him marry both of his daughters (Genesis 29:14-30). 

The trickster is tricked. 

Jacob already had a problem. Then both wives decided to complete over who can have the most babies (Genesis 29:31-30:24). During this madness, both wives arranged for their maidservants to also marry Jacob, meaning that at the end of it all he had four wives and twelve children. 

Secondly, Jacob tricked Laban. He took some of Laban’s flock as wages and used smart selective breeding techniques to increase his holding at Laban's expense (Genesis 30:15-43). 

Thirdly, Rachel stole from Laban (Genesis 31:19, 30-35). There are many theological questions about why Rachel stole a household idol from her dad. The point is that she stole something of value and then lied to her father to get away with it. 

Look at this family. Just look at it. Constantly scheming, lying, deceiving, thieving. Would you trust them? Would you want to be a part of this family? 

No, of course not! They are thoroughly dysfunctional. 

But what caused this dysfunctionality? 

They were too busy competing with each other in clambering up the ladder of souls to stop and consider that they should have been loving each other. This was not a strong family. It was instead horrifically weak. They did not become the patriarchal family because they deserved it; they had that role as an act of Divine grace. 

Quite simply, the many rivalries at play here made their lives a real mess. 

But despite all that was going on in his family, Jacob wasn’t done with his struggles. After wrestling with his brother, father and father-in-law, Jacob finally struggled with His God. 

His God 

Genesis 32:22-30 NIV 

[22] That night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two female servants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. [23] After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. [24] So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. [25] When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. [26] Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.” But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” [27] The man asked him, “What is your name?” “Jacob,” he answered. [28] Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.” [29] Jacob said, “Please tell me your name.” But he replied, “Why do you ask my name?” Then he blessed him there. [30] So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, “It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.” 

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/gen.32.22-30.NIV)

Have you ever had an encounter that was badly misunderstood? 

I remember being taken aback by two man having a loud and boisterous argument outside my apartment block in Romania. I was sure they were about to come to blows. I considered calling the police. Then, a few seconds later, they embraced each other and parted. 

What I had witnessed was just two Romanian men having a friendly discussion. Loudly.

This encounter with God is often badly misunderstood. It’s often taken as a metaphor for prayer. But it can’t be: Jacob wasn’t praying, he was grappling. It wasn’t until afterwards that he realised he’d been wrestling with God. 

Also, prayer is often altruistic in nature and used to benefit other people. This wrestling match was self-centred: Jacob was seeking a blessing for himself, not for anyone else. 

And that is what this is: a self-centred man, in the middle of an act of pure self-preservation (Genesis 32:1-21), clinging to another man out of desperation to receive a blessing. 

These verses encapsulate both Jacob’s victory and his defeat. 

Jacob’s victory is that he got the blessing he wanted (Genesis 32:26-27). 

His defeat is that his wrestling partner rendered him a cripple as he could not overpower him (Genesis 32:25). 

So yes, Jacob was a fighter. He was a man who seemed to be followed by rivalry wherever he went. 

But his very victory was tinged with defeat as it left him permanently injured. 

And this is the problem. Participating in rivalries, measuring yourself according to other people, seeing life as a zero sum game where you have to win and others have to lose, will only ever have one result: you will lose. You will be damaged goods, in pain, hopelessly alone.  

It just doesn’t work. 

But when we throw out the hatred and the contempt and the suspicion and instead seek to live a life of love, that changes everything. 

It’s just a much better way. 

Conclusion 

Genesis 25:21-23 NIV 

[21] Isaac prayed to the Lord on behalf of his wife, because she was childless. The Lord answered his prayer, and his wife Rebekah became pregnant. [22] The babies jostled each other within her, and she said, “Why is this happening to me?” So she went to inquire of the Lord. [23] The Lord said to her, “Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples from within you will be separated; one people will be stronger than the other, and the older will serve the younger.” 

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/gen.25.21-23.NIV)

Around ten years or so, I had a rival. 

My company was reorganising. Everyone had to re-apply for their jobs. There were also some new positions that were being created. One of them, a promoted position, seemed tailor-made for me, so I applied for it. 

Everyone in my team thought that I would definitely get it. 

Except one guy. He quietly applied for it, even if I was more skilled in one particular area than he was. 

He got the job. I didn’t. 

Then it was rumoured that he had lied on his application form to get the job. 

I was furious. Furious with my bosses for giving him the job instead of me. Furious with him for lying. Allegedly. 

My mood wasn’t helped when I was asked to help him fix that gap of his knowledge so he would be able to fully perform the role. 

I found that humiliating. 

But the truth was that yes, that role was ‘for’ me, but I had tried out for it for a while and the trial went badly. I lost it because I hadn’t done a good job. It wasn’t his fault. It was mine. 

The real reason for my fury was the fact that I had believed myself to be much better than him at our jobs, so when he was promoted instead of me, my misplaced pride was badly bruised, and when I was asked to help him out, it was shattered. 

I bore a grudge against that man. For years. 

But it didn’t affect him in the slightest. 

I had coveted the role he’d got. When I didn’t get it, I crossed the love line and thought and behaved disgracefully.  

I was responsible for that. That was my fault. 

I had got caught up in the competition and lost in more ways than one. 

Jacob’s life is just one constant scrap after another. He seems to have seen life as a zero sum game: he had to win; the other guy had to lose. 

Now, it might seem like he won, but his life is tinged with tragedy. After wrestling with some success against his brother, his father, his father-in-law, and his God, Jacob is rendered a cripple. We then see his epitaph in Hebrews: 

Hebrews 11:21 NIV 

[21] By faith Jacob, when he was dying, blessed each of Joseph’s sons, and worshiped as he leaned on the top of his staff. 

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/heb.11.21.NIV)

Take this in: a hundred and thirty years of life and all that is remembered of Jacob is something that happened moments before his death. All that life, and yet the only vaguely heroic thing he ever did was bless his children, praise God and die. 

That has to have an impact on us. 

Imagine how it would feel to climb that ladder of souls, competing against even your nearest and dearest, for a hundred and thirty years, only to discover that it counted for absolutely nothing at all. 

What an horrific waste! 

Friends, we should not ever life a futile life, or hand a futile life to our children. We cannot spend our lives competing with others to get ahead. If we do, we will lose. We will only ever lose. It just doesn’t work. It is utterly futile and empty. 

But if we live to love – God, our neighbours and ourselves – and the only person we compete against is the person we were yesterday, than that is a full life and truly worth living. 

Let’s take the life of Jacob as a wake-up call, step off the ladder of souls and live for something truly worthwhile. 

Prayer  

Lord Jesus, I am sorry for my envy and covetousness that has led me to constantly who I am and what I have with other people. I confess it as a sin. I will not compete with them anymore. I will live a life of love. Show me how. Amen. 

Questions for Contemplation 

• Who did Jacob compete against? Why is this a bad thing to do? 

• Did his competitive personality make his family stronger or weaker? Why? 

• Who do you compete against? Is that the right thing to do?