Faith Works - In Speech

James 3:1-12 NIV 

[1] Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. [2] We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check. [3] When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. [4] Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. [5] Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. [6] The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. [7] All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, [8] but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. [9] With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. [10] Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. [11] Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? [12] My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water. 

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/jas.3.1-12.NIV)

James might be an ancient epistle, but there are times when its words are bang up to date.

This absolutely is one of them. 

There was an old saying during the Second World War: ‘Loose lips sink ships’. It was true. Unwittingly giving information away to Nazi spies or fifth columnists could betray troop or navy positions that could cost lives. 

But let me put another spin on it: ‘Loose lips sink reputations’. That is what James is aiming at here. And if there is anyone reading this meditation who is not sorely challenged by these verses, then they are probably self-deceived. 

This is one topic in James that I knew I would find it challenging for blog on, because, and it’s confession time now, I have found myself falling into this trap on more than one occasion. 

I led a youth missions conference in a church in western Romania for a couple of days. The pastor in the church appreciated what I and my team had done. I was asked to share a short greeting in the Sunday morning service. But my ego assumed that I had been asked to preach. While leading the conference, I had been brought up to speed with a division in the church. Stupidly, during my ‘greeting’, not only did I overshoot my allotted time in the service, but I also made reference to the division.  

Both were very foolish things to do. The pastor shouted me down from the pulpit. The congregation was divided: half worked out in sympathy with the way I was treated. 

I left that church with my head bowed apologetically and took the train home with my team in silence for most of the way. I had messed up. I knew it. 

I also don’t believe that James is only referring to the spoken word here. When James talks about someone not being at fault with what they say, he uses the Greek word ‘logos’. This word doesn’t just mean speech. It also refers to a declaration, an utterance, a narrative, a discourse. It refers to the expression of our thoughts. 

When James talks about the tongue, he also uses a word that relates to human speech and language. 

We might be tempted to relegate this command to just spoken words. This is mistaken.

Nowadays there are so many other ways to communicate. This command can just as easily refer to letters, text messages, social media posts – basically any way that two people can communicate with each other. 

And that is where the challenge really comes. 

Pretty much everyone has, at some point, underestimated the power of social media and put something they wish they hadn’t online. And I don’t mean while intoxicated either. I once got sucked into an angry one debate I really wished I hadn’t. My wife tried to pull me back and get me to show some respect, but I was so angry and frustrated that I didn’t listen. I lost friends from that debate. I learned a harsh lesson. 

I also got involved once in a political argument on social media. Again, good friends I had known for years disappeared off our friends list, just like that. 

Now I am older and more mature, I know that both of these were foolish mistakes. 

James is not alone in highlighting speech and communication as an issue. This is what Jesus said: 

Matthew 12:33-37 NIV 

[33]  “Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit. [34] You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. [35] A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. [36] But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. [37] For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” 

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/mat.12.33-37.NIV)

I’m pretty sure many of us are ducking for cover just at the thought of those verses. 

And then there’s Proverbs: 

Proverbs 18:21 NIV 

[21] The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. 

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/pro.18.21.NIV)

A friend of ours used to post something on social media that wasn’t ever that contentious, but he would always end it with ‘...I’m just saying’. I hope you can see that there is no such thing for us as Christians. Our mouth is the overflow of our heart. If we say something, it’s because, at the time, we meant it.  

And that’s the problem. 

So now we are aware of the seriousness of the issue, let’s take a look at James’ four pictures, the first of which is The Teaching Tongue. 

The Teaching Tongue 

James 3:1-2 NIV 

[1] Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. [2] We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check. 

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/jas.3.1-2.NIV)

Now, here we find a really interesting couple of verses. I doubt if you'll ever see them in the recruiting literature of teacher training colleges! 

I think we can all agree that teaching is a gift. I think we can all agree that not everyone has it. There are many who would freely admit that they cannot teach and should not teach and have no desire to teach. Maybe you think these verses are not directed at you. 

However, I believe these verses are also applicable another way. 

Teachers in James’ day – particular religious teachers – were people of phenomenal position and influence in society. For example, those who taught the law often also performed the role as judges to resolve disputes. Good teachers with a big reputation could easily pull enormous crowds, as we know nothing John the Baptist and Jesus did. 

Although the term has been misunderstood and abused in the last decade or so, they were, in a very real way, more than just teachers, they were religious influencers. They held sway over people who followed them. They determined what they ate and drank, how they dressed, how they spoke, what they did, what they believed.  

James told the early Christians that not many of them should aspire to such a life. 

Do you see the parallel with both modern day religious teachers and social media influencers? Many nowadays may mock the level of devotion to popular preachers and theologians, and yet will queue endlessly outside convenience stores to buy flavoured water marketed by an influencer, or will line up religiously to meet a social media star who has no discernable talent other than to act the fool on camera. 

The level of power these people hold over others is extraordinary, and very scary. Parents of young children in primary school have found themselves nagged endlessly to buy clothing or skin care products advertised by their favourite influencers. Our children – even our children – are being pressure-sold for the profit of other people.  

If that doesn’t concern us, I don’t know what will. 

But here’s the thing: the further your head is over the parapet, the more likely you are to get shot at. That is the reality.  

Influencers like these have long found themselves in trouble for mis-selling, for advertising harmful products without realising, for posting harmful material, for past misdemeanours. The reality is that the more your face is ‘out there’, the more likely it is to be punched. The higher you rise, the more people will be waiting to pull you down. 

Filipinos call this a ‘crab mentality’. But it’s not just a Filipino thing. It’s everywhere. It’s been known for generations that Scotland, for example, isn’t a place where success is necessarily celebrated, and a place where failure is greater with ‘See? I told you so!’. 

But it isn’t even just a Scottish thing. It’s global. It derives from that picture we examined when we were looking at Galatians 5:13-26, where human beings see themselves as being on a giant comparative ladder: they look down on the people below them and are jealous of the people above. It’s this mentality that generates a far harsher examination of those who are popular than those who are not. 

Sometimes the spotlight is a little too hot. 

There is, of course, another way of looking at this, which is when God does the judging:

Luke 12:48 NIV 

[48] From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked. 

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/luk.12.48.NIV)

The more we have, the more responsible we are for how we use what we have. The higher we stand, the tauter the tightrope. If we gain power and influence over others, no matter in what sphere, then we are accountable to God for how we use that power and influence.

James is right. It really is not for everyone. 

Not when a wrong word spoken or posted years ago can potentially destroy your career. 

Once again, James’ words are bang up to date. 

So we see, then, that words have power and influence, and the more power and influence we have, the more accountable we are to use our words well. 

After the teaching tongue, we now  move on to The Tiny Tongue. 

The Tiny Tongue 

James 3:3-6 NIV 

[3] When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. [4] Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. [5] Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. [6] The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. 

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/jas.3.3-6.NIV)

I don’t really remember too much about my Physics classes in high school. It took me two attempts to pass the exam. But I do remember one lesson in particular. My teacher was sitting at his desk, propping his head in his hands, with his elbows on his desk. He told us how, if he ingested a small capsule of cyanide, he’d be dead before his head hit the desk. 

I remember being utterly amazed that something so small could be so utterly deadly. 

After the assassination of the Russian dissident Sergei Skripal and the Salisbury poisonings, we are now well used to how radioactive substances can also be used to kill someone, and in a truly horrible way. 

Few of us realise that we have something in our mouth capable of creating incredible poison that can even end someone else’s life, or even put our own at risk: 

Our tongue.  

Anyone who has been bullied knows that the old British rhyme ‘sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me’ is actually completely untrue. The reality is that what we say, type and post can have a dramatic effect on someone else. There are even utterly evil forums where fragile people are encouraged to take their own lives. 

Words can hurt. Badly. And if we hurt people with our words, we are responsible. We can’t say we were exercising our Fifth Amendments rights. We can’t say that we were ‘just saying’. We can’t say that we were only joking. None of these apply. Not one. 

Proverbs 26:18-19 NIV 

[18] Like a maniac shooting flaming arrows of death [19] is one who deceives their neighbor and says, “I was only joking!” 

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/pro.26.18-19.NIV)

What we say matters. And not just in the pulpit. Not just in church. All the time. To everyone. Everywhere. 

We cannot claim to be a follower of Jesus Christ, we cannot claim to be people of faith, we cannot claim to be Christians at all, if we deliberately and consciously use our words to hurt others. To do so is an utter contradiction, as we will see later. 

Maybe you think I’m over-estimating or exaggerating this. Take a look at the three pictures James uses to describe just how powerful our words are. 

The first is a horse’s bit. 

James 3:3 NIV 

[3] When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal.  

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/jas.3.3.NIV)

A horse is a very strong, and very strong-minded, animal. They are quite beautiful, but don’t ever be mistaken: they are strong. By the time James wrote his letter, they had been admired for centuries. 

Yet these strong, strong-willed, powerful animals can be steered by their rider using a tiny bit. Something small, and seemingly insignificant, changes the direction and destination of something big. 

Then we come to the second picture, A ship’s rudder. 

James 3:4 NIV 

[4] Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go.  

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/jas.3.4.NIV)

Due to where we've travelled and where my wife is from, we have been in small boats and very large boats: ones with small outboard engines and others with engines that could easily fill the lounge of most houses, and more. But all of these vessels, both large and small, were steered by a rudder many times smaller than the vessel itself. Again, James is making the point that something small can change the direction of something big. 

James’ third picture is equally as striking: A Forest Fire. 

James 3:5-6 NIV 

[5] Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. [6] The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. 

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/jas.3.5-6.NIV)

There are parts of the world where people take really neglectful, unthinking risks. They go out into the woods for a picnic during a period when it has been dry for many days. They decide to light a fire. Sparks from their fire ignite the bone dry undergrowth like tinder. In seconds, the forest around them can be ablaze. 

This is James’ point. We might think we are doing ourselves a favour. We might think life revolves around us. But one small spark – one small, insignificant spark – can destroy those around us and set our life ablaze. 

This is so true. How many people have needed counselling or borne grudges or been broken by the unthinking, unkind words of others? A small spark set them ablaze. 

When Marie Curie began her research into radiation, she had no clue about the dangers of the material she was handling. She died of cancer caused by radiation.   

We have to know the dangers of whatever it is we’re handling. That’s why there are so many clesr warnings for hazardous substances. 

Our tongue comes with a health warning – these verses are that warning. James tells us the potency of our words, not to scare us into silence, but to make us more circumspect and careful about what we say. 

After all, would we not rather be known as people who build up, rather than those who destroy? 

But he doesn’t just talk about the teaching tongue and the tiny tongue, he also talks about The Untamed Tongue. 

The Untamed Tongue 

James 3:7-8 NIV 

[7] All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, [8] but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/jas.3.7-8.NIV)

Just outside the city of Stirling in Scotland there is a safari park. I'm sure it’s not at all anything like the game reserves in Africa, but it does give locals the opportunity to get il close to some pretty impressive animals. There is one area of the park in particular where you can drive through the lion enclosure. That is quite a special experience. 

Lions are not pets. Not one bit. There are people who try to train them, but they risk their lives to do so. Lions are wild animals. They belong in the wild. They are not at all tame. 

Neither is our tongue. 

James’ rather dramatic point is that our words, left to their own devices, can do incredible damage – as if those lions were left to roam through Stirling city centre. He is saying that our words have the potential to be utterly deadly. 

There are parts of the world where human activity has encroached into the territory of dangerous wild animals, such as lions and tigers and bears. In these places, human beings are at enormous risk of being attacked because, not to put too fine a point on it, these places are their territory, not ours. 

Likewise, when it comes to our words, there have to be limits. We have to know how far we can go. As the Psalmist said: 

Psalms 141:3 NIV 

[3] Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips. 

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/psa.141.3.NIV)

And as Solomon agreed: 

Proverbs 21:23 NIV 

[23] Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity. 

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/pro.21.23.NIV)

Just as it isn’t safe or right to allow wild, dangerous beasts to roam in suburbia, it isn’t a good thing to be unfiltered in your speech. It isn’t right to ‘rage post’ or to ‘vent yourself’ online. These are not the right thing for Christian to do. We cannot let the wild beast loose on those around us. 

Who knows what untold damage we could do? 

Apart from the teaching, tiny and untamed tongue, we also see The Two-Faced Tongue. 

The Two-Faced Tongue 

James 3:9-12 NIV 

[9] With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. [10] Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. [11] Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? [12] My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water. 

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/jas.3.9-12.NIV)

Once again, James hits the mark. 

Hypocrisy in speech, where people say something nasty one minute and nice the next, is often used for comic effect. 

Only it isn’t funny. Not at all.  

Let’s go back to what Jesus said about our heart: 

Matthew 12:33-36 NIV 

[33]  “Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit. [34] You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. [35] A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. [36] But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken.  

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/mat.12.33-36.NIV)

So your words reveal what is in your heart. 

Now, what were the two commands that lie at the heart of all obedience? 

Matthew 22:35-40 NIV 

[35] One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: [36] “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” [37] Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ [38] This is the first and greatest commandment. [39] And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ [40] All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” 

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/mat.22.35-40.NIV)

And what did John say about these loves being linked? 

1 John 4:7-8, 11-12, 20-21 NIV 

[7] Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. [8] Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.  

[11] Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. [12] No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. 

[20] Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. [21] And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister. 

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/1jn.4.7-21.NIV)

Three times – three times! – within the same passage. If you love God, you must love the people He made. If you don’t love the people He made, then you don’t love God. 

A simple formula, but boy, does it go down deep! 

So, then, to praise. James said that it simply is not at all possible for our praise of God to be genuine and real if, at the same time, we express our lack of love towards other people through our words. And the reason behind this is beautifully simple: God made them. If we despise them with our words, we are despising God’s creation and we are despising their Creator. 

That is precisely why we see these words elsewhere in Paul’s teaching: 

Ephesians 4:29 NIV 

[29] Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.  

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/eph.4.29.NIV)

Colossians 3:8-10 NIV 

[8] But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. [9] Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices [10] and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.  

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/col.3.8-10.NIV)

So yes, even something as ‘banal’ as gossip is absolutely, fundamentally wrong. There is no place for it. Just as there is no place for ‘putting someone down’ or ‘cutting someone down to size’. There should be no place for straight-talking, sharp-tongued people in the church who don’t suffer fools gladly. That is not our calling. It’s not a spiritual gift. In fact, it’s a sin.

James’ teaching is clear and uncompromising. We cannot sing our praises to God with any genuineness or reality if we harbour hatred in our hearts towards other people and cut them down with our words. 

Jesus told us that our worship should be like this: 

John 4:23-24 NIV 

[23] Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. [24] God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.” 

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/jhn.4.23-24.NIV)

Do you know what a key part of worshipping in truth is? 

Not hating other people! 

Even nature tells us, as James illustrates from both fruit and water, that it is impossible to get good things and bad things from the same place. 

If you find yourself in church bearing grudges and harbouring bad thoughts towards someone else, if you come out of a service and destroy other people with pinpoint accuracy, if you can’t wait for the tea and biscuits for a good old gossip in the back hall, then you, my friend, have a massive heart problem. You spent that entire service trying hard to fake worshipping God. 

And God will not be mocked. 

Conclusion 

James 3:2 NIV 

[2] We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check. 

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/jas.3.2.NIV)

It’s impossible to see inside the human body with the naked eye. And that’s a good thing. Conversations around the dinner table would be way too interesting if it wasn’t. 

Instead, doctors often use things like blood tests, examinations of our temperature, our skin, our urine, our sputum, our eyes so they can tell what’s happening inside. Our external life tells the story of our internal life. 

It’s much the same thing with our spiritual life. External issues allow us to examine what’s inside our heart and our soul. 

Except, there are some external issues we wish weren’t such of a giveaway.

Our words – whether we like it or not – are one of them. It doesn’t matter if they were carefully chosen in a speech or hastily typed in a text message or a social media post, blurted out in the heat of the moment or carefully crafted for an essay or a creative writing piece, our words reflect who we are. They reflect where we are with God. They reflect our desires, our priorities, our wants, our needs. In a very real way, we are who we say. 

The big question is: who are we? What do our words say about us? 

Before we try to justify ourselves or others about what we said or left unsaid, I want you to ask yourself this question: you know that conversation that is popping into your head right now – you know, the one where you were in the right, but the words came out all wrong – if all someone knew about you was your words and your expression from that conversation, what would they say about you? 

There used to be meetings when I was a teenager that were ‘no-cringe’. In other words, they were meetings you could bring your mates to where the Gospel would be presented without you feeling embarrassed or ashamed. 

This message is not one of them. 

If you’re reading these words and not wishing that the earth could open up and swallow you because of things you’ve said and the way you’ve said it, then the likelihood is that you’ve not really heeded this message. 

I know I am. 

James has one word of comfort in this incredible passage. He points out that we all have sinned. The Bible teaches this elsewhere too: 

Romans 3:23 NIV 

[23] for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God 

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/rom.3.23.NIV)

James here highlights a specific area where this is absolutely true. 

So we may be on the wrong side of the tracks, but at least everyone is there. 

John, though, also gives us a way to fix the issue: 

1 John 1:8-10 NIV 

[8] If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. [9] If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. [10] If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us. 

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/1jn.1.8-10.NIV)

As does Jesus Christ Himself: 

Matthew 5:21-24 NIV 

[21]  “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ [22] But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell. [23]  “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, [24] leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift. 

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/mat.5.21-24.NIV)

These are not easy things to do, especially if you are utterly convinced that you are right.

But then, they say that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. So whether we are right or wrong, if the way we said it was wrong, then we can’t be right. 

We’ve seen in this little meditation the incredible power of our tongue. We saw how it can be used to teach, but how having a position of power and influence sets up for much sterner judgement, both from people and from God, because we become responsible for how we use that power and influence. We saw how our words might seem small, and we ourselves might seem small, but they are very powerful. We saw how our speech is untamed and cannot be tamed. And lastly we saw how our words can be deeply hypocritical. 

That news seems to be relentlessly bad. But it doesn’t need to be the case. 

There are many substances that are highly dangerous and toxic but which can have highly beneficial uses. I’m thinking, of course, of nuclear material, or the chemicals we use to make our soaps or plastics, or even liquid fuel or acids. We know they are very dangerous and so we take great care in how we handle them. 

Our words are a little like that. James isn’t giving these warnings because he wants us to be cowed into silence. Far from it. Instead, he wants us to take greater care in how we speak. As James said earlier: 

James 1:19-20 NIV 

[19] My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, [20] because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.  

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/jas.1.19-20.NIV)

I have met people who always have to have the last word, even if they’re just echoing what someone else said. To be quite frank, I find them to be very fragile people and a little tiresome. I’ve also met – and lived with – people who cannot tolerate being wrong. These are always people who have a chronic inability to grow, because to grow you must first be willing to be wrong. 

We are to be none of them. 

Let me give you a few pieces of advice that I have found helpful to me: 

1. Stop. Take a breath. Don’t respond immediately. It’s folly to believe that you need to respond to, or even win, every argument. Those who do lack confidence in themselves and are fragile. Be strong. Show no fragility. Be willing to lose from time to time. 

   
   

2. Listen. Most angry reactions are towards something that no-one said or a situation that doesn’t exist. Listen to what the other person is really saying. Listen to what they want, to their heart behind the words. They may not be saying what you think they are. The only reason why you might think you are saying it could be that you aren’t listening to them. 

   
   

3. Think. Ask yourself ‘What do I want from this discussion?’ Only contribute in a way that will help you get what you want in a way that everyone feels like they won. Conversations are not always a zero sum game. Think how you can properly answer in such a way that no-one is unnecessarily offended. 

   
   

I know and fully understand how difficult this is. I was born in Glasgow and lived most of my childhood in a Glasgow postcode. Glaswegians are not shrinking violets. They speak their mind. If they pay for a ticket to a sports event or a concert and they aren’t happy with what they’re seeing, they will let you know alright. 

My mother was born in Yorkshire. Yorkshire folks are among the most direct, plain-speaking and brutally ‘honest’ people in the UK. ‘Telling it like it is’ has become a virtue there. 

I spent two thirds of my missionary career, including learning Romanian, in a working class Romanian town around straight-talking Balkan Latinos. 

My wife is from central Philippines, from a region invaded by the Spanish. She has Spanish blood coursing through her veins. The Visayas may be stunning and their people very friendly and hospitable, but they are known for being incredibly open and direct. They have held conversations around the breakfast table that have caused me, as a Glaswegian, to blush. 

So yes, I know all the cultural reasons to argue for forthrightness and directness and ‘just saying it as it is’. I know them because I have made them.  

I also know the legal arguments around free speech and freedom of expression. I am sure there are Christians in many countries who are simply horrified at what I am saying because it seems to them that this teaching is encroaching on their hard-won freedoms. 

But I want to argue against them like this: just because we can doesn’t mean that we should.

I am free to drink alcohol and to smoke, but I don’t because I know these things are not good for me. Giving free reign to whatever we want to say or write or post without considering other people is not just bad for them, it’s also bad for us. 

As Paul said to the Romans: 

1 Corinthians 10:23-24 NIV 

[23] “I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but not everything is constructive. [24] No one should seek their own good, but the good of others. 

(Read the full passage at: https://bible.com/bible/111/1co.10.23-24.NIV)

So, yes, I do believe in freedom of thought, speech and expression. But I also believe that using that freedom to harm others is an abuse of that freedom, so no, I am not a free speech absolutist, and yes, I believe that there should be limits. 

Most of all, I have to say that I have been severely chastened by this teaching. It has brought to mind when I have said things I really should not have said. I am haunted by moments in my life when I have used my freedom of speech for bad and not for good. I am appalled for the times when I have imagined myself as being on that great ladder of souls and sought to tear down those in front of me, and put down those who were behind me. 

That is clear disobedience to the Royal Law. 

I need to be better at this. I’m sure you do too. 

The prayer at the end of this meditation is as much personal to me as I hope it is to you.

So will you join me in committing to controlling the wild beast within us and using what we say to benefit others? 

Prayer 

Lord Jesus, I am deeply challenged by these verses. I confess that I have sinned and am far from Your glory. I need Your help. Set a guard on my mouth, O Lord. But most of all, change my heart to a heart of Your love. Take me off the ladder of souls. Help me to build others up and lead them to You. Amen. 

Questions 

1. What does James say about those who teach or have influence over others? Why is this important? Are you in this position? 

2. What does he say about our tongue? Which parts of this mean the most to you? 

3. How can we get better at the things we say? Will you commit yourself to doing this?