Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIVUK
In 1994, British-American rock band Foreigner produced a song that would go on to be a huge hit across the globe. ‘I Want To Know What Love Is’ is likely sung at numerous karaoke bars in numerous countries, even where English isn’t widely spoken.
Yet the central question of needing someone to show us what love is has not changed in all these years.
We still want to know what love is. Paul is about to show us.
And he does so in stark, bare prose that cannot be misunderstood, but yet will leave us quaking in our boots if we meditate on it as we should.
As we open up these verses, try replacing the word ‘love’ with your name, then ask yourself, ‘Is this really true of me?’
I can guarantee you won’t think of these verses as romantic and sappy after that.
Paul started by telling us how love deals with people letting us down: it is both patient, in that it is slow to anger and bears with injuries receives from others, and kind, in that it acts benevolently and is gentle.
In other words, love does not seek bitter revenge when others fail us, but responds with robust patience and calm benevolence to their wrongdoing.
He then tells us how love deals with others rising up.
Love is not envious – and this carries with it the idea of burning with obsessive jealousy over another’s success.
Love does not boast – or seek to argue for its own relative success against another.
Love is not proud – metaphorically, puffed up. In other words, love does not seek to exaggerate its own importance.
He then goes on to tell us that love does not put down.
Love does not seek to dishonour or shame another.
Love is not self-seeking – it does not seek to gain honour and glory simply for their own sake.
Love is not easily provoked or riled or angered or exasperated. The Greek here indicates that love is not easily ‘made sharp’. In other words, love does not use an incisively quick wit or snarky remarks or anything like that to suppress or bring down or put someone in their place. Love does not have a short fuse. Love suffers fools gladly. Love is not snippy.
Love does not keep a tally of wrongdoing or weigh someone up on the scales and find them wanting or deliberately think ill of someone. Love does not bear grudges.
Love does not delight in evil – which in this case is not just an evil act, but also an unjust judgement – regardless of whether the person who loves benefits from that injustice or not.
Instead, love rejoices in the truth: something that is objectively true and shows excellence in character. In other words, love does not believe in ‘win at all costs’. Love instead delights in just and true verdicts.
Love bears all things – and in this case it refers not just to passively ‘putting up with’ things.
No, this is more than that. Look at this often overlooked event from Genesis:
Noah, a man of the soil, proceeded to plant a vineyard. When he drank some of its wine, he became drunk and lay uncovered inside his tent. Ham, the father of Canaan, saw his father naked and told his two brothers outside. But Shem and Japheth took a garment and laid it across their shoulders; then they walked in backwards and covered their father’s naked body. Their faces were turned the other way so that they would not see their father naked.
Genesis 9:20-23 NIVUK
When Ham did was not loving – he mocked his father’s indisposition by telling his brothers what had happened. Love instead is what Shem and Japheth did: they recognised their father’s shameful situation and sought to rescue his dignity.
This doesn’t mean that love seeks to justify, excuse or cover up criminal behaviour. Where criminality has taken place and there is a serious risk of harm, love has to act to remedy the matter. It is not loving to allow an offender to re-offend.
No, love intervenes and takes care of those who have fallen in order to save their dignity and point them towards a better way.
Love believes the object of its affection. That is to say, love is not naive. Instead, love is prepared to offer the benefit of the doubt. Love is prepared to allow for the object of its affection to present a plausible explanation.
Love hopes. Love longs for the best. Love views the future with optimism that things can, do and will change for the better.
Because love, you see, perseveres. Love endures. Love remains. Love does not give up.
That is what love is.
Now ask yourself this: Is this what I am?
I hear a lot of excuses for Christians who behave in pretty negative ways. Things like ‘It’s just who I am’ or ‘It’s just my upbringing’ or ‘It’s just my culture’.
Do you know something?
No.
No, it’s not.
No, it’s not okay.
No, there are no excuses.
Today we do not find ourselves before a romantic Scripture that leaves us with a warm glow in our hearts.
No, today we find ourselves in front of one of the finest set of verses in all of Scripture, and yet it is also like verbal sandpaper. Like sandpaper it irritates, it scratches, it rubs against us and it hurts.
It hurts because there is no follower of Jesus Christ who can swap out the word ‘love’ here, put in their own name and know that every word of these few short verses is true of them. These words are an x-ray that expose the shadows and the dark spots in every one of our hearts. And it is jolly uncomfortable to be exposed to such an x-ray.
But I believe Paul wrote these fine words with a reason – and it wasn’t so they could be copied into a greetings card for Valentine’s Day.
I believe that every one of these phrases was written to the Corinthian church because they were doing the exact opposite.
There is plenty of evidence in both letters to this church that they were painfully divided: by personalities, ethnicities, legalities and morality. This was a church in a whole lot of trouble, as we saw earlier.
I don’t believe that Paul was ever a man to use mere words to impress people – I believe that when he talked about the things that love does not do in these verses, it’s because the Corinthians were doing these things:
They were not patient.
They were not kind.
They were envious, boastful and proud.
They dishonoured others, were self-seeking, were easily angered and grudge-bearers.
They sought to win at all costs.
They were untrusting. They delighted in the misery of others. They lacked hope. That had given up.
They were everything love was not.
We certainly get a glimpse of this in Paul's letters to them. After all, would Paul bother to teach them on something that was not a problem for them?
The burning question is: how to we measure up?
You see, we cannot escape even from a second from the reality that we are commanded to love – as Paul told the Roman church:
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honour one another above yourselves.
Romans 12:9-10 NIVUK
Love is even the mark of being a true disciple of Jesus (John 13:34-35). This must have had a huge impact on the Gospel writer who wrote these words because he echoed it in his letters:
We love because he first loved us. Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And he has given us this command: anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.
1 John 4:19-21 NIVUK
So our love for others – and, to an extent, ourselves – is evidence of how much we love God. Why? Because He created them and us. So if we treat other people, or ourselves, with disrespect and contempt, instead of love, what does that say about our feelings towards their creator?
We had a holiday in the Swiss Alps this year. It was an immense privilege to gaze out of our small wooden balcony onto the stunning form of the Eiger each morning. I doubt I’ve seen a more picturesque mountain view.
But the Eiger is also a terrible mountain. Many who try to climb it – even experienced climbers – fail in winter conditions and have to be rescued. It s beautiful, but terrible at the same time.
These are beautiful but terrible verses too. Beautiful because rarely has prose reached such incredible heights. Terrible because they are a stunning reminder of the command to love – a command which, if we are brutally honest, all of us have broken, and frequently.
But because of God’s love we have a way back, thanks to Christ’s selfless sacrifice on the cross, through confession and repentance.
For your own sake, and for the sake of the Body of Christ, I urge you to take that way back today.
Questions
Are there any of the aspects of love in these verses that appear to be impossible to you? Why?
Are there any you have recently failed to live up to? What happened? How can you put this right?
How do you feel about the fact that your love for others and yourself reflects the love you have for God?
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